A letter from Her Royal Highness

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

Her royal highness

It has come to Our attention that one of Our staff released a statement to the public regarding the early days of Our initial residence. While We believe this should have remained a private matter, We can no longer ignore the continued calls for additional clarity regarding this ongoing transition and have decided to release this first State of the Realm.

First, while We would enjoy more pillows, and certainly disapprove of this breach in protocol, We harbour no ill will toward the original letter’s author. In fact, We have adopted several programmes specifically designed to increase the health, security, and happiness for her as well as all resident staff. For example, We have instigated not one, but a minimum of two mandatory walks around the grounds and extended estate daily. This exercise regime has not only increased the sense of community but is on track to decrease their bottom line as well. Similar programmes have also been devised for the younger staff within Our estate and we have no reason to believe that their results will be any different as their responsibility grows.

We have increased security throughout the premises. Just this morning, Our finely tuned alert system sent a potential intruder, cleverly disguised as a delivery man, on his way with minimal confrontation. We can speculate all too clearly what foul deed this person might have performed were it not for Our high standards and Our rigorous process of background checks. Additionally, a scourge of local ruffians, commonly known as the gang of squirrels, have since been placed on the highest watch lists. Though it has been less than ninety days since We took Our residence, We are pleased to say that their villainy is on the decline as reported by all measures of nearby squirrel based activity.

We have also commissioned several renovations throughout the estate. While some of these changes may appear drastic to the untrained eye, they were all designed with the greatest consideration to the needs of Our staff. These changes primarily involved increasing the quantity of natural light as well as open air flow within the palace, both of which have been proven to have a positive impact on the human brain in its attentiveness as well as its ability to ward off disease. These changes also created the added benefit of promoting continued adult education and development of useful trade skills such as carpentry.

Renovations

Then there is the matter of happiness. Before We took residence, small bits known as LEGOS littered the ground well beyond the boundaries of acceptable use. We were told these bits regularly caused issues such as foot pain, quarrels among the ranks, and lack of sleep for elder staff at the end of a work day. This was not only a long standing problem, it was a problem the staff believed to be insurmountable as well. We sank our teeth into this problem immediately. It only took two instances of rendering these nuisances into unrecognizable lumps of plastic to convince the younger staff to improve their standards of cleanliness, and as it is said, cleanliness is next to godliness, or at least linked to a greater probability of happiness.

Lastly, as all great leaders know, it is not enough to put a matter in writing. Leaders should and must lead by example. We are quite content. We trust that all who appreciate and emulate Our regal bearing will be soon follow suit and are now looking most forward to a long and prosperous age.

We wish each of you continued similar success.

Sincerely,

HRH The Princess Royal V.C. Potts, the first of her name.

 

 

 

35 thoughts on “A letter from Her Royal Highness”

    1. Prior to taking her residency, HRH summered with both canine and felines alike providing her a wealth of viewpoints. Additionally, the brothers and sisters at Saving Grace, where she attended finishing school, ensured that she received only the most comprehensive and forward-thinking education. HRH is pleased to have made your acquaintance on this fine day.

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    1. HRH is most pleased that personages such as yourself have taken an interest in the well-being of the realm. Rest assured, HRH will be making a point to regularly check in with her loyal subjects.

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    1. HRH has vowed to meet with her cabinet to determine whether or not additional protections must be put into place to further guard against a resurgence of this matter. Foot pain is in direct conflict with her position on mandatory exercise.

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  9. Clever, totally enjoyable post. We had to read the entire thing to Our husband who was subject to a bout of laughter. I should mention that Princesses Honey and Lulu failed to understand the humor and are now demanding additional pillows.

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    1. HRH is most troubled to hear that Princess Honey and Princess Lulu have not yet received the quantities of pillows befitting their station. She thanks you for bringing this most dire matter to her attention and will be meeting with her ministers to discuss the global pillow situation further.

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