I was standing outside, miles from home, with a trash bag in hand. A liquid of questionable make-up was running down my ankle from where I’d accidently brushed a leaky corner of the bag with my leg. It was a perfect morning.
My hubby, a regular member of the local Rotary Club had volunteered us all for a service project on Saturday. All of us. Even her Royal Highness. Our task was to go to a nearby park and walk the trail, scooping up litter along the way. When we arrived, the volunteer coordinator gave my boys a grabbing tool, a pair of gloves, and draped an adult sized fluorescent yellow vest labeled Park Volunteer vest over Kiddo’s shoulders. Then we’d gotten to work.
Kiddo decided it was a contest. Little did the other volunteers know, but they were now locked into a race against the clock to gather the most amount of garbage. It was a contest Kiddo was determined to win. The boy ran down hills, jumped into the brush, and time after time returned with a bottle, can, or cigarette butt clenched in his grabbing tool’s claws as proudly as if the trash were trophy.
Other park visitors were quick to notice, coming over to thank my son for his service. I beamed with every compliment they bestowed upon my son as I clutched our trash bag, now made heavy through his efforts.
Another couple from the club met us on the path. They’d finished inspecting the next section and it was time to head back. We turned to follow with Kiddo still on the lookout for any scrap that might have been missed. LT, more eager than his brother to call it a morning, begged his father to carry him the rest of the way. In order to shield our ears from the full assault of preschool cries, Lamont scooped LT up, placing him on his shoulders while I took charge of holding her Royal Highnesses leash in one hand and the trash bag in the other.
The path narrowed as we rounded the corner to the final bit of stairs leading to the park’s exit and a group of women approached us. I glanced at Kiddo, once again off the path in search of loose trash, as I anticipated the comments that would surely come.
A woman screamed.
Not the reaction I was expecting. I looked over. I realized then I’d let the lead grow too long and in that split second of inattention, Her Royal Highness had decided to make new friends.
The woman screamed again, clearly not interested in Her Royal Highness’ friendship. The group parted and I saw they too had a dog in tow. Only her dog was not idly sniffing around as if she was annexing the grounds as was mine. Hers was on its hind legs as its owner tried to yank its leash up to heaven. The dog barked frantically, mirroring the emotions of its owner. I pulled Her Royal Highness back to my side as soon as I realized what happened. Her Royal Highness, bored by the exchange, came at once without complaint.
So… almost a perfect morning.
I started to head back toward the stairs, but the other dog’s owner wasn’t yet satisfied. Turning she shouted a number of things at me and mine not caring at all who heard her spew, including my children.
I could have returned her righteous anger with my own. The encounter was an unwelcome surprise to us both. I hadn’t seen her dog. Didn’t she see my children? We were doing our part to make the park better, for people like her to enjoy. If anything she should be the one apologizing to them if not to me for her extended reaction.
I could have, but I didn’t say any of those things. I didn’t say anything at all. Instead, I simply looked at the stairs in front of me and decided my enjoyment of the morning would not be ruined by a passing moment. I’d reach the top, dispose of my bag, and be on my way.
I know the bags of mental negativity are far less easy to get rid off once you let them weigh you down. I could see all to clearly their impact on her in her body language as she continued down the path and could hear how she still simmered over my lack of reaction to her words or actions as the distance between us increased. I knew I didn’t want that kind of energy.
She’d tried her best to hand her bags of negativity to me. To spread her anger like the litter we’d collected, but I hadn’t let her. I’d resisted taking anything more than this little scrap for the purpose of telling a story. After all, my hands were full. I realized then I felt sorry for her. Not sorry enough to share her burden, but sorry she wouldn’t have the kind of day I’d had, even if it there had been a scattering of litter along the way.
I felt a cool drip on my leg, reminding me of the mystery liquid, best left unexamined and my need to get home and take a long shower. It was definitely time to make our exit. Kiddo’s face flashed another smile before shouting he’d collected another wrapper. At the top of the stairs, Kiddo announced to the volunteer coordinator he was the day’s winner.
I smiled. He was a winner for sure, but it would seem, I’d won too.
How interesting that the clean-up project took a philosophical turn. Your response to the situation was perfect. People with negative energy just have to find someone to dump it on, don’t they? Happy to know that you refused to take her garbage.
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What surprised me most was the fact that garbage detail actually wound up being the highlight of my Saturday in a good way. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that could EVER happen.
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Who would? 😉
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Great post and lesson for life, Allie. We have a choice about the kind of litter we pick up. One restores beauty, and the other is just garbage 🙂
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Exactly!
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Can you imagine how she would have reacted to Ajax?
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Only too clearly. Poor big guy. Reminded me of the day on the Ferry.
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Can you bottle your restraint please? I’d have reacted differently. Sadly. And felt better and then worse.
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Only a few short years ago, this would not have been my reaction.
Trust me, if I could bottle it now for sale, I would. It would be a nice side business, or at least nice insurance for days I am feeling a little less…restrained.
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Good for you for keeping your cool, and good for kiddo for being so great about trash retrieval. I couldn’t quite tell what happened exactly. Your daughter and the dog nearly ran in to each other? What was the woman so upset about?
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I have a retractable leash and while I was watching Kiddo, my dog walked into their group rather than stay by my side. Apparently, the woman’s dog was not a fan of my dog and its owner, of the opinion that a responsible owner shouldn’t allow their dog to do that.
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Ah, I had that way off! If I had a dog, I probably would’ve understood that better. So, that lady is a bit of a nut, eh? Too bad. Doesn’t she realize you’re famous?!
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HA! I probably do need to walk around with a warning sign that anything people say or do around me may be used against them.
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Any parent faced with young children around should know enough to bite a tongue rather than spew a bunch of vile negativity about. If they can’t bite a tongue in front of a strangers children then obviously they really don’t care what their own children witness. Bad parenting at it’s worst Allie. Maybe the World was lucky and only the dog was her offspring so her own children would have been saved the embarrassment.
xxx Huge Hugs xxx
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I completely understood the initial alarm. I might do the same if a strange dog suddenly appeared, but I would have reined it in the second I saw kids around. Guess she was more focused on making a point.
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Good choice of actions for your soul. Congrats on helping your park keep clean. Liked the way the post progressed from reality into philosophy.
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Thank you! Seeing how excited kiddo was to wear that vest made it all worthwhile.
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Some people can get very angry about very little very quickly. Whenever I meet such people, they tend to make me feel rather miserable. Your reaction was much better. I’m glad you could take things in your stride like that. 🙂
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It was much too pretty outside to be angry and did I mention I was preoccupied by a questionable substance on my leg? Really, it is a wonder I didn’t wake up with superpowers the next day.
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I don’t know, managing to stay calm in the face of unprovoked anger sounds like a superpower to me. 🙂
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Hmmm… you may be on to something. I’ll start working on my cape.
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There are metaphors practically bursting at the seams in this post. I’m just glad you are instilling in your children the benefits of pitching in to clean and beautify the earth! That makes you a winner. 🙂
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My favorite thing about living where I do is the number of parks. You can totally forget you are actually in a city when wandering around in them. A morning of cleaning is a small price to pay.
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You are a far better soul than I am. Kudos to you and yours. 😇
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I sincerely doubt that.
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So. Wow. Okay, um… First, I found this post funny because I just wrote about finding joy in negativity. (But this is very different.) Second, you are amazing for ignoring and moving on in the moment. I’m sure I wouldn’t have. I detest that kind of behavior especially when my children (or theirs) are around. Last, but not least, love to your family for helping our planet. You are all awesome. 💙🌍💚
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Oh thank goodness you found it funny! I realized it was all sorts of humble brag, but really, it was the highlight of my weekend, so had to share.
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I realize you probably meant funny as in coincidental but I am going to misinterpret as I see fit!
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Misinterpret away! ❤ Your writing is always funny. In a dry, witty, my-favorite-humor kind of way.
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🙂
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My favorite line: “I know the bags of mental negativity are far less easy to get rid off once you let them weigh you down.” That is so, so true. Great job reigning it in and recognizing negativity for what it is–that it’s a choice to pick up those bags or not to. I always feel sorry for people like that lady. I can’t imagine going through life with so much bitterness that it prevents you from seeing all the beauty that’s around.
I love that you were helping to clean up the park area and that you made it a family event. That is so awesome. What an incredible family you have!
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Thank you! And it really was a gorgeous day. Way too pretty to get bogged down by negativity.
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