My eldest son became sick and not just with a little cold. No, he’d caught the flu. The same strain of flu that was being featured on every nightly newscast. Taking care of him, and monitoring his symptoms was an absolute must.
At the same time, the forecast called for snow. Again. It was in the 70s (22C) the week before, but I live in North Carolina. We can go through a whole year’s worth of seasons in a week. In fact, we add a few more to the list – there’s also pollen season and hurricane season too. (Yes, yes, Colorado – where you can have all four seasons in a single hour – I know we have nothing on you).
But normally it doesn’t snow more than once or twice a year South, which is exactly why my parents moved us here when I was a kid. As a result, most of the people who live around here don’t have a clue what to do when the white stuff starts falling other than to rush out and get milk and bread like it will become the new world currency.
I had just gotten my eldest dosed and settled under blankets when I received word that the school system would be releasing my other son three hours early. Snow hadn’t even started falling, but classes for the rest of the day were canceled.
I received another alert. Not only had the school closed early, the following morning’s opening would be delayed by three hours.
My eldest’s fever climbed to 102.6 (39.2C).
The family calendar showed my hubby would be going out of town the balance of the week.
And then beta feedback for my most recent WIP came back as a solid ‘meh,’ signifying major re-writes were required.
There were doctors appointments to make, prescriptions to fill, dinners to cook, and her royal highness to walk, not to mention the work which needed to be made up from missed school and the day job. While juggling all of this, I needed to re-write thousands of words per day if I had any hope of reaching my writing-related goals.
And yet, during my regular writing time, when most of the house is either quiet or asleep, I found myself staring at a black computer case. I didn’t even have the energy to lift the lid, let alone turn the machine on. I felt I’d broken something. My creative muscle simply refused to work.
Which brings me to the topic at hand – how to remain focused on your goals when life is determined to get in your way.
Give yourself permission to let something go
With the exception of the week between Christmas and New Year, I’ve been posting something on this site weekly for a few years. My posts, on average, are between 500 and 1200 words meaning I’ve published more than then three books attributed to my name on my Amazon author page. I take pride in my consistency. I view it as keeping my promise to you, but something had to give.
Recognize your priorities
As much as I love this blog – the outlet it provides and the community it builds, my number one goal isn’t to be best known as a blogger. Scaling back my efforts for a week, under the circumstances, was an easy choice to make (as was giving up on cleaning my house for a few days). In fact, I may adopt a practice suggested by Diana Wallace Peach over at Myths at the Mirror to take one week off a quarter as a way of refreshing the mind and spending time on the priorities that matter most to me.
Don’t confuse artificial targets with your real goals
What do you mean? Aren’t they the same thing? No. A goal is where you want your arrow to go. The target around the goal just helps you aim. Hitting the target alone isn’t enough. It’s the bullseye you want.
For example, my target was to release the sequel to An Uncertain Faith in May. That target, however, is really nothing more than a release schedule, a deadline to help keep me motivated day in and day out. My goal, on the other hand, is to write a book that lives up to, if not exceeds, the reader’s expectations. Quality, therefore, is my goal, and frankly, there is no way I can achieve that goal unless I am willing to shift my bow and aim at a target more reflective of my current environment.
Ignore the urge to splurge
Once you have agreed to let certain lesser priorities go and/or readjusted your timeline after a period of stress or frantic activity, you may find yourself with feeling like there is this hole you have to fill. I’ve been told others call this strange sensation, ‘having spare time.’ Unaccustomed to spare time you may be tempted to take on additional tasks or responsibilities which sound easy in theory but are not in line with either your priorities or your goals. Don’t.
Life will fill in that time for you just fine on its own. Trust me.
Accept that setbacks happen to everyone
Even to people who’d prefer to present themselves as having it all together.
I am disappointed to be sure, but I am not giving up, nor do I feel bad about giving myself a break. I will still have another book out this year. It may just be after the summer instead of in the weeks leading up to it. I am able to remain focused by keeping in mind a setback does not mean the end. I’m back in my chair, plotting forward once more. It’s all I can do.
Because most importantly, when life is determined to get in the way of your goals, the best thing you can do is:
I think that your revised approach to blogging and writing and living is inspired.
I agree that you have to go with your priorities [real goals] and let go of the artificial targets. I’m unfamiliar with Diana Wallace Peach’s idea of taking “one week off a quarter as a way of refreshing the mind” and I love it. I might adopt that idea, too.
Hoping that all is well with your boys today, and that with your newfound sense of perspective you’ll be feeling more balanced as you go forward.
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I have a feeling that Diana will prove to be beyond wise. 🙂 Thank you!
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I don’t think anyone should write a post out of obligation. Hope your young ‘uns get well soon and that the weather turns springish, the wild flowers bloom and all is right in your world again!
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Thank you! I am so over this winter. It snowed again this week which is beyond annoying as our flowers are in bloom and I’d really like to get outside and see them.
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Wonderful advice, Allie. I think we just have to give ourselves a break sometimes, especially when we aren’t procrastinators by nature and when life is pulling us in different directions. I’m so glad you shared this and hope that your son is feeling better. 🙂
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I am thinking you may be on to something genius.
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I am sorry that you have had such a difficult patch, Allie. It is hard to be everything to everyone all the time. I have the same struggle.
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Looking back on past posts it would seem I had a similar bad patch this time last year. I’m making a note to do a better job stocking up on Valentines chocolates next year.
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I don’t see a grumpy face, but rather, a clenched fist raised in solidarity. Which is perhaps even more fitting under the circumstances. Hang in there – you can do this!
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That’s awesome! I see it now too. Thanks!
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Now there’s a timely post if there ever was one, I thought, when I read the headline. And I was right. Great post, as usual. 🙂
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I hope that doesn’t mean you too are experiencing more than your usual share of disruptions.
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Having grown up in Ohio, it cracks me up that people cancel school due to a little snow. But I get it. Good for you for realizing what you need to do, or not do. 🙂 Keep on keeping on!
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It’s gotten ridiculous here. You have one ice storm that keeps kids trapped in their schools overnight 6 years ago and people go crazy.
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Oh wow. That is a huge bummer, though. I hope the kids saw it as a grand adventure rather than scary. Parents were probably like, woohoo! 😉
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Luckily mine weren’t in school yet and were over with a stay at home mom in the neighborhood so got to sleep in their own beds. It was a long, long, long commute though. Several people wound up ditching their cars and walking.
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Wow! That is crazy. Southern towns ought to have some salt stored for these emergencies. And, of course, they’d need the trucks to spray them.
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The lack of trucks is a part of it, but also the challenge is having to purchase and store something you might not need every year. Also, our weather changes so rapidly that often it rains first, which washes away the salt. Then the roads freeze creating a nice sheet of driving fun before the snow finally comes.
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Ah, man. Yeah, that’s a toughy.
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I get what you mean here. Asking for it all. It’s hard to keep going but you kind of just have to yes?
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I refuse to accept any other option.
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I wish that it could be that way…
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