Allie P.

Communication failure – kindergarten style

September 4, 2014September 4, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

My eldest son noticed that we changed the calendar at the house and asked me what month it now was. “It’s September now,” I told him. You could see the gears inside his head turn as he processed this news. “So next is October, and then November?” he asked.

“You got it.” I replied, happy that he was remembering his kindergarten lessons so well.

“That means it is almost my birthday!” He announced. “I need to start working on my wish list.”

I gave him some paper, moved his pencil and crayons within reach, and continued working on my own task. As he scribbled away, I occasionally overheard him verbalize a few of the items he was adding to his list such as Legos, transformers, along with various other toys he had recently seen in various commercials.

Several minutes passed. Eventually he must have been satisfied that he captured everything as he proudly showed me the list of his must have items.

the wish list — some fonts may be unsupported on this viewer

To say that somethings may have gotten lost in translation was a bit of an understatement. I had been expecting crude letters, or pictographs at the very least. Instead his list was made up of various colored circular bullet points and squares where text should be. He smiled as he pointed to each bullet point. Communication Failure. Clearly the list made perfect sense to him, but it was gibberish to me. I didn’t want him to think I was somehow judging his artwork, but I had to ask some clarifying questions. Otherwise he is in danger of having a disappointing birthday celebration. Luckily he didn’t seem to mind. He had mom’s full attention, and that was what he ultimately wanted.

At my day job, we have a phrase we use whenever someone has been given an unclear task or unclear need. We call it being handed a red rock. For example, a customer calls and says that they want a red rock. You excitedly hang up the phone, eager to put the order on the sales board. Only then do you realize that you have no idea how to fill the request. Did the customer want a crimson rock, or a scarlet rock? Did they want a rock they could fit in the palm of their hand, or one that they could use to prop a door open against a gusty wind. What is their primary motivation, really? Is it truly about the rock, or is there some deeper need. In these cases, it is usually best to go back and ask for additional clarification rather than make assumptions. No one wants to disappoint a customer if they don’t have to.

When it is our turn to ask for something, how do we get want we really want on our wish list? How do we better communicate?

I am expected to give a presentation in front of approximately sixty to eighty people in three weeks, and am a wee bit nervous. What I do not want to do is provide a series of handouts that look like gibberish to my audience or go over talking points that sound like a foreign language. Communication strategy is high on my mind at the moment, and I’ve been doing a little homework as I get ready for the big event.

Some of my favorite communication tips (for home or for work) are:

Eliminate unnecessary details. Imagine you are limited to 3 sentences to get your message across. Make each one count.
Be specific. Don’t just say you want a report on your desk, explain what should be in the report and when it is due.
Don’t rush. Give the person on the other end time to process your words and put them into their own.
Match your tone and pitch to that of the person you are engaging. They will be more likely to respond to you positively and stay engaged.
Ask open-ended questions rather than yes or no questions. These help better identify motivation. For example, do not say, “do you have any questions?” Instead ask, “what questions do you have for me?”

What tips would you share with me?

Inspiration under September’s sun

September 1, 2014August 31, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

The close of August may mean the unofficial end of summer, but in my area it also means the beginning of the collegiate football season, or gridiron as it is known in much of the rest of the world. I never moved far after graduating from college, allowing me the opportunity to attend a number of games each season. Occasionally the boys come along too, at least once per season. There are a number of rival schools in the area, and we don’t want to risk that they might actually favor one of the alternatives when it is time to apply to college. Indoctrination starts early.

The problem with the season opener is that as much as we complain about summer being over, the mercury tells a different story. Between the sun and the stands packed so tightly, sardine cans look spacious by comparison, it can get extremely hot. This weekend’s game was to be played at twelve thirty on a 90+ degree day (32+C). It was going to be a scorcher.

After finding our seats, I noticed that my son was in need of some additional sunscreen. Rummaging through my bag, I found a left over tube. It was nearly empty, but spending the next several hours uncovered was not an option. I twisted and folded that tube, gratefully scrapping away even the smallest drop until I was able to cover the majority of his exposed skin. I didn’t have as much as I would have liked, but it would have to be enough to get us through the day unburnt.

Inspiration can sometimes be like a tube of sunscreen. Sometimes the tube is brand new, and will flow by itself as soon as the cap comes off. Those are the days I risk being too verbose. I have to force myself to hold back, saving some of those ideas for another day. Other days, the tube is near empty, but I twist it and bend it making use of whatever I can find. Why? Because I want to spend my time in the sunlight, but my skin is less forgiving now.

When you run out of sunscreen, all you have to do is run down to the local corner store and pick up a new bottle. Is finding inspiration or coming up with the next big idea just as easy? I like to think so. Yes, I’ve experienced writer’s block more often than I’d like, but a trip to the store can be just as easily delayed by a lack of gas in the tank.

I’ve been asked how I come up with ideas for what I am going to write about. First, I read. I read a lot. I read books, other blogs, news stories, and message boards. Many times I am participating in a conversation, except the other party doesn’t always realize we are communicating. Other times, I go for a walk. Nature abhors a vacuum. If I clear my mind long enough, something is bound to fill it. Finally I just start typing. I’ve surprised myself more than once.

The next great idea could be just around the corner, you just have to open your eyes wide enough to recognize what it is you are looking for.

Getting back to reality

August 28, 2014August 28, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

When my youngest son graduated from crib to big boy bed we purchased a mattress liner just in case there were accidents. A few days later, I received an impassioned plea from the manufacturer begging me to write a review of their product. They were a small business and lived and died by their reviews. As an independent author, I can relate, but I found myself in a quandary. While the product had arrived on time and fit on the bed, my son had thankfully not given me a reason to test its overall effectiveness. I could write a review, without ever experiencing the full story, or I could wait and write the review after an event that by its very nature would put me in a bad mood. In either case, I doubt the company (or other potential customers) would see a benefit from what I had to say.

You may notice I’ve used some past tense. I arrived home from my business trip abroad just in time to care for my eldest son’s first school borne stomach virus. Yay! Nothing says I missed you mom like the opportunity to clean up the physical evidence of sickness in the wee hours of the morning. As much as I am washing my hands, running loads of laundry, and keeping the children separated, deep down I know that it is only a matter of time before it spreads to the rest of the household. But thinking on the bright side, at least this will give me a chance to drop those extra travel pounds I put on.

So do not fret Everyday Pure, you may yet still have another review in your listing. I just hope your product works as well on my youngest son’s bed as the one on my older son’s.

Speaking of products which might be better off never receiving reviews, if you enjoy toilet humor, you should really check out reviews for Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears, 1 Lb on Amazon. If you do, be sure to read the review from April 25th, 2014 entitled A day that will live in infamy. My day may not be going as I anticipated, but I just have to read through these to remind myself how very worse it could be.

Some days I wear my author hat higher than the rest, some days my managerial, but today Mom reigns supreme. Due to my present situation, this post is brief, but let me leave you with a quote by William Ward:

or in my case – changes the sheets.

It is hard to keep a closed mind on the open road

August 25, 2014August 25, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

I spent the majority of my recent business trip in Hong Kong, but not all of it. I ventured into mainland China towards the end of my stay into a city I’d never visited before. Though Hong Kong is considered one of China’s assets, it is its own country and there are quite a number of differences between the two. One of the most noticeable, for the casual traveler, is how traffic is handled. Hong Kong has one of the best public transportation systems I have ever experienced. I rarely needed a car to get from one point to another, and that is a good thing for me considering they drive on the right hand side of the road. Mass transit wasn’t an option for me on the other side of the border.

Chinese traffic is similar to American traffic only in that you drive on the left. I was more than a little glad that arrangements had been made to keep me away from the steering wheel during my travel as there are significantly less traffic lights than I am used to, in fact there were several miles that lacked any lights at all. Upon closer inspection I noticed a distinct lack of stop signs as well. These missing elements combined with anything goes type attitude looked terrifying to my inexperienced eye. I thought that in this chaos it was only a matter of time before an accident occurred, but somehow cars were able to maneuver around each other as well as bicyclists, and pedestrians, albeit with excessive (in my opinion) horn honking.

Chinese Traffic Crossing — The Chinese open road

Ahead of my trip I had loaded up on reading material. By pure coincidence, two of the novels I selected were set in dystopian futures. One was Take Me Tomorrow by Shannon Thompson. Set in a world with extreme immigration control and anti-drug laws, the novel asks what is more important, security or personal freedom? The other was Matched by Ally Condie in which our future is made happy by limiting everyone to the mere minimum of personal choice.

In both books, there is an official who is fully aware of the bad qualities of their society, but supports the system anyway. These aren’t evil villains. In their minds order equals group happiness and is valued over individual wants. I have a soft spot for dystopian novels, ever since I first read 1984 by George Orwell. I had always related to the protagonists in these stories, rebelling against their totalitarian regimes. I thought there must be something deeply wrong with the antagonist’s mindset for them to think that what they were embracing was truly in the best interest of society, not just in their best interest.

But then I looked at the street corners where the traffic signs should stand, afraid that at any time a car might come barreling into my side, and realized that I was thinking like the officials, the bad guys/gals. Although I had been there only a day, I thought I knew what they needed better than they did. However, we were on the road several hours and the accident that I was so convinced was imminent never occurred. It might not make sense to me, but I had to admit that, somehow, the system worked for them. Who was I to think that the traffic rules I utilized at home, such as the concept of right of way, were in some way better than that what these people had devised for themselves?

I was reminded that the best leaders do not dictate the rules, but instead provide a tangible goal, and then allow their teams the flexibility to develop their own best method of reaching it. A method based on their own strengths, weakness, and most importantly, their own culture. Who else is better qualified to evaluate those traits than the people themselves? It can be hard to step back sometimes, but just because their method might be different from what you’d do, doesn’t make them wrong. Who knows? They might just surprise you too.

Maintaining an appetite for new things

August 21, 2014August 20, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

The first time you visit another country everything is new and notable. The sounds that chirp and chime at crosswalks are as foreign to your ears as the language. You find yourself laughing at signage that means something completely different at home than what the shopkeeper intended. But its a different experience when you are a repeat visitor. It’s easy to ignore what you’ve already seen before.

I explored a lot during my last visit. It gave me something to do. My visit this time is shorter and it is raining heavily. I am less compelled to go out and revisit the touristy spots I’ve seen before. But just because I am not walking around town doesn’t mean I am not adventuring. I am in Hong Kong after all. I just have to go out to a meal with a group of my colleagues to experience the great unknown.

A group of us went to a nearby restaurant for lunch. I was one of the very few Westerners present. My hosts eagerly scanned a menu written in characters I don’t understand. A waitress stopped by to take our order. I saw her look up at me with a raised eyebrow as my tablemates spoke in Cantonese. I heard several snickers. I consider myself an adventurous eater, but I will admit I grew a little suspicious at the exchange.

In Hong Kong, dishes are typically served as soon as they are ready, rather than waiting under a heat lamp until the whole order is completely. Each plate is designed to serve many in what we refer to in the US as family style. As the guest, you are expected to take your portion first while everyone else waits patiently. This can prove problematic if you aren’t exactly sure what it is you are expected to eat. What if it is supposed to only be a garnish? Oh you mean I am supposed to use that cup of water to wash my chopsticks instead of drinking it? To make matters worse, I hadn’t used chopsticks for awhile and my skills had grown rusty. The food would keep slipping back on the plate. I kept hoping that someone at the table would drop their good manners and dig in if only so that I could copy them, but as my luck would have it, they had all been raised properly.

Dish after dish arrived. Then I saw it. The dish I had suspected was coming was coming. Chicken feet. I pride myself on trying anything… once. But I’d already met that particular challenge and had no interest in repeating the experience. As I graciously declined one of my colleagues looked genuinely puzzled by my reaction. He asked me, “Don’t you live in the South? Isn’t this close to your cuisine?” I laughed thinking about things like gizzards and pickled pigs feet. For the record, I don’t eat those ‘delicacies’ either. Luckily there were plenty of other things on the table for me to try for the first time.

Gradually my chopstick skills came back to me and soon the majority of our plates were empty. I have no idea exactly what I ate today. I don’t tend to ask what the dish was unless it is something I would prefer to avoid in the future. I tend to find out I enjoy my meal more if I don’t have a preconception of the ingredients provided others are eating it with gusto as well. Included in the order had been food I’d never tried before, much of which was absolutely delicious. I may have been here before, and some of the novelty has worn off, but today I was able to try something new while being surrounded with good company. That is always an experience worth repeating, no matter how familiar the location.