June 2014 – Page 2 – Allie Potts

Don’t just say no, say yes to something more important

June 9, 2014June 9, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

Eight months. I only have to make it though another eight months…

That’s when, my youngest, my little lord tyrant (and I say that with love), will be three years old. Intellectually, I know that the terrible twos don’t magically end just because the calendar changes, but it’s a date I am currently clinging to like a life raft.

No, I don't like it! — No, I don’t like it! (Photo credit: pand0ra23)

We had another dinner stand-off the other night. I was determined that my toddler at least try the food on his plate. It was delicious and cooked perfectly. I was convinced that if I could only get him to taste it, my toddler would willingly eat the rest. My son, on the other hand was equally convinced that I was trying to poison him.

I tried all the basic tricks. Pretending the food on the fork was an airplane coming into the hanger. I asked my older son to join me in by making loud, “Yum!” sounds. But my toddler would just say no as he smiled and turned away with his whole body.

I finally managed to get a fingernail sized piece of broccoli on his tongue through the use of stealth and trickery. He retaliated with the nuclear option; regurgitating everything he had eaten since breakfast two days prior, all while I stood there helpless. I guess this time he was serious about his no. Another round goes to the kiddo.

balance scale (Photo credit: winnifredxoxo)

I read an article the other day stating that the term work life balance was misleading. It argued that balance, by its definition, required two equal, yet opposing forces. Therefore to achieve balance, your work had to be the opposite of your life. Considering the fun bodily fluids I get to clean up at home, having an opposite work environment is rather appealing. But I understand the point that the author was trying to make. Because you spend so much of your life at work, the last thing you would want is work that takes away from your life, rather it should add to your life.

I have begun the rewrite process of my novel with the hopes of have a manuscript ready to be sent to an editor by the end of July. I continue to get asked, how do I find the time to write a new novel, promote the first, manage staff, and raise two boys. I fully admit that I have a lot going on, but it could be much worse.

Steve Jobs once said that he “was as proud of what we don’t do as what we do.” He was talking about the products they thought of but choose not to bring to market. Rather than flooding the market with dozens of similar products with slightly different features and benefits, Apple focused on perfecting a singular product line.

My plate might look full at the moment, but it could have been overwhelming. As much as I am proud of what I am doing, I am equally proud of the opportunities I have turned down over the years.

I was previously offered a role within my company with increased responsibilities. The role would require me to use skills I have, but skills I don’t want to develop further. I would receive no growth satisfaction and by accepting it, I knew it wouldn’t be long before I would become miserable. I thanked them for the offer, but told the management team that I would prefer to continue what I was doing. I explained why I was turning down their offer, what about the role wasn’t appealing, and what I wanted to do more of instead. I could tell they were stunned, but I had to remain true to my personal goals. By saying no, I ensured that I wasn’t a completely burnt out shell of my former self when another, more fitting, opportunity came my way later.

don't just say no — don’t just say no (Photo credit: cheerfulmonk)

You can say no and not commit career suicide. You should say no with confidence whenever you know the opportunity is counter to your personal goals. No is one of life’s most liberating phrases. It is a word most adults don’t say enough, at least not when it matters.

It is also a word I look forward to hearing less from my toddler’s lips. Until then, would you please pass the towel?

Solutions for Toddler Feeding Problems (webmd.com)
Toddler Tips #701: Civilized Dining (sort of) (fourtoadore.com)
Career & Life Balance 50 Tips To Succeed In Business & Still Have A Great Life (radissonlargo.wordpress.com)
7 Entrepreneur Actions to Balance Family vs Startup (alleywatch.com)
Women and Business: Finding your Balance (hiscox.com)

Mistakes happen, but life goes on

June 5, 2014June 4, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

I recently finished reading Jessica Bacal’s Mistakes I Made at Work: 25 Influential Women Reflect on What They Got Out of Getting It Wrong. I was intrigued by the title and drawn into the promise that the book would feature, well at the risk of repeating the obvious, women in power admitting they had made mistakes.

Admitting a mistake in the privacy of your own office is hard enough, but these woman were asked to detail their mistakes with the understanding that the interviews would then be published, and available to be read by the public for all of eternity. Or as long as the book remains in print, whichever comes first. For that reason, I couldn’t fault the few who chose to play it safer with their stories than others.

As way of saluting their bravery, I’ll return the favor.

Wasting Money (Photo credit: Tax Credits)

When I was first starting out in my career, I was given the task of instructing our purchasing department as to how much material to re-order for an upcoming build. Simple, right?

The challenge was the material had to be bought in huge reels sold in volume and then cut into smaller pieces by a third party. The third party then re-spun onto smaller spools measured in square feet, before shipping it to the manufacturing facility where it was cut at third time into rectangular slivers measured in millimeters.

I knew how many end parts we needed to build, which told me how many slivers were required, but I needed to work out what that usage translated into terms of reels.

I failed this particular word problem. I may have misplaced a decimal, or I might have miscalculated exactly how much film could be wrapped around the spindle of a large cylinder. It doesn’t matter. All that mattered was we wound up buying years’ worth of material with a no return option based on my recommendation.

Embarrassed by my blunder, I wanted to take it out on the supplier. I asked them why didn’t they question why we were suddenly ordering several times more than we typically did. Their answer was, they just thought our business was booming. In other words they took the money and didn’t question their good fortune.

AWESOME ... TPD Officers Placed On Leave After... — (Photo credit: marsmet463)

Fortunately, I managed to keep my job. We found a space to store the excess without too much impact on our bottom line. Eventually we consumed the material, but until that day, at least in my mind, it served as a monument to my huge blunder. Rest assured, I never repeated that particular error again.

People will say you should own up to your mistakes, but to do so you have to do more than just admit to them. You have to break down the elements making up the blunder and figure out a way to turn a short term awful experience into an experience worth learning from.

I became more willing to ask for a second opinion if the numbers just didn’t seem to add up, and better about referencing past transactions whenever possible. Additionally, I became more aware of my individual impact on larger business decisions. Taken together, the lessons I learned by this one major blunder helped me develop the skills I needed to advance through my company’s ranks.

Reading about mistakes is a good way to learn a lesson, but occasionally it is best to learn the hard way.

We all need attitude adjustments sometimes

June 2, 2014June 2, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

Alan Cohen To make the world a better place, s... — Alan Cohen To make the world a better place, see the world as a better place (Photo credit: symphony of love)

In one month I am going to be the proud parent of a kindergartener. I’ve already verified that I have more than one package of tissues ready in the house. I’m as ready as I can be. He, on the other hand is more than ready. He can read more than a few sight words, knows his numbers and letters, and can perform some basic addition and subtraction. His day care teaches all these Pre-K basics as part of its curriculum, including the dreaded weekly homework assignments.

The Joys Of Homework (Photo credit: Cayusa)

These assignments are a struggle for everyone involved. My son would rather be doing anything other than writing his words for the week three times in a row. I would rather he was able to enjoy his time at home too. He writes a few of the letters backwards and gets frustrated. He gets distracted and starts doodling on the page. He winds up dragging out the assignment three times as long as it needs to be, especially if I am not hovering over him ensuring he stays focused.

I admit that I equally share his dread of homework too. I only get to see him awake for a couple of hours each night during the week. It bothers me to see him stressed during that time. But on a selfish note, it also annoys me that I am prevented from relaxing while I am forced to play warden.

However I don’t share my opinion of his homework with my son. Too much is at stake.

With Maya Angelou’s passing a number of news and media outlets have run pieces featuring some of her most inspiring quotes. One of my favorites is this, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”

Cover of "Change Your Attitude" — Cover of Change Your Attitude

Homework isn’t going anywhere any time soon, and my son’s homework is only going to get more labor intensive as he gets older. Therefore since changing the practice of homework isn’t an option, if I am going to follow Maya Angelou’s advice, I am going to have to attempt to change my attitude about his homework.

My son still looks to me to provide guidance. If I let on that his homework is a pain, he is only going to reflect and magnify that opinion, making the weekly struggle to get it done that much more painful. It is already difficult enough to keep him focused on the assignment. If he drags it out any more it will take us two nights to complete rather than the one. Even worse, his attitude could then influence my younger son’s view of the task too, and my youngest is at least five hundred times more stubborn than his brother.

I am going to have to focus on how it is teaching him responsibility and how procrastination can be a really bad thing. Rather than dreading pulling out the sheets, I am going to look forward to that moment when I tell him it is all done correctly and he beams with pride. I am going to keep my mind on the prize, the sight of my son dressed in cap and gown crossing the stage.

If I do this right, with any luck he’ll mouth the words ‘thank you mom,’ as he accepts his diploma. That event combined with that little phrase will make all the stress and lost evenings worth it.