Category: Life as I know it

Be grateful for the little things… even if they have six legs

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

My house sits on a partially wooded lot, which comes in handy when the leaves begin to fall. Most of the time we can get away with merely pushing the leaves into the natural area and occasionally running them over with our mulching lawn mower.

Unfortunately the leaves aren’t the only things that fall. Often, especially after a storm, our yard will become littered with tree limbs and other small branches. These have to be moved before the lawn mower can come out and also go into their own pile in the natural area.

This Saturday, the weather was beautiful, and the air, while cool, was warmer than it had been for the last several days. We decided it was time to get a little yard work done. At some point during our clean-up, the hubby chose to inspect the stick pile, only to get an unpleasant surprise. He discovered that some pretty nasty bugs had moved in, the kind that aren’t inclined to stick to the great outdoors, and the kind that can do several thousand dollars of damage if left unchecked.

We may live in the Southern US where we pride ourselves on our hospitality, but we did not want to invite these creatures into our house. Something had to be done, and done quickly. We decided present their eviction notice in the form of cleansing fire. Soon the wooden debris was positioned in our fire pit, but hardly any of it was burning. The wood was still too wet from the rain earlier this week. What to do?

While we might not be the most industrious yard care workers, the hubby and I consider ourselves problem solvers. As luck would have it, we had grilled chicken for dinner and still had hot coals smouldering in the bottom of the grill. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle! These coals were shoveled into the pit. It was enough. Within minutes, the previously bug infested wood had transformed into a cozy fire helping to keep us warm after the sun set. As the stars came out, the hubby and I enjoyed a glass of wine while the kids happily roasted marshmallows. It was one of those moments you wish you could capture forever.

To think, I might never have had that moment joy if I hadn’t first had a problem.

Later this week, we in the US will be celebrating our Thanksgiving holiday. I, like so many others, will be spending it with family. I am grateful for a good many things that I have: loved ones nearby, food when I am hungry, and a roof over my head. I consider myself very fortunate for having these things, especially when I watch the news and see those that don’t, but I am also grateful for the problems I’ve had, for without them, I might never have become the person I am today.

Fire pit at night
Saturday night at our house, courtesy of my in-house illustrator

 

Oh the joys of the 3AM wake up call

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it
The Bat-Signal as seen at the end of Batman
When does Batman/Bruce Wayne sleep between business and saving the day/night? I’ve often wondered. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It was three AM Sunday morning. More accurately 3:27. I know this because we have one of those clocks that project the time onto the ceiling like some sort of sadistic batman call sign. (In the wee hours of the morning, I tend to forget our rationale for buying it.) I could hear our toddler crying in his room. I closed my eyes, hoping in vain that he would settle himself down. If anything it increased in pitch and volume. To my side, I could hear the rhythmic breathing of my hubby still enjoying deep sleep. The toddler’s call wasn’t quite loud enough to rouse him – yet. Groan. It was up to me. Cursed mom ears, with their supersonic hearing, I thought to myself for the millionth time.

I stumbled down our hallway to the little guy’s room unwilling to turn on a light to help along the way. Opening the door, my son emitted one last loud cry before noticing that help had arrived. I’m not sure exactly what might have caused my son to wake up. Perhaps he had a nightmare, or maybe it was just the sound of the heat turning on that startled him. Who really knows what two-year-olds think about at night. The cause really didn’t matter. He was up and needed mom. I’m a fan of George R.R. Martin’s Game of Throne Series. The line, “for the night is dark and full of terrors” came to mind, as I picked him up and held him close.

Even though I was there he still he continued to whimper. I asked him what he needed, only to hear pitiful sounds in reply. A change of strategy was required. “Use your words,” I told him.

“I wan Monkey Man,” he answered (his reigning favorite toy). Of course he did. Sigh. Monkey Man is a small, flat, toy that is always hiding itself away. Why couldn’t my son have an obsession with a large, glow in the dark, GPS enabled toy that I could tether to the bed? Something woke him up and now he couldn’t find his friend. It was a catastrophe!

I told him that I would find it as I tucked him back into his bed. He looked up at me with a smile as I searched around the bedding, confident that all would be made right soon.

I located the little guy wedged between two other stuffed animals at the foot of the bed and handed it back to him. My toddler clutched his toy, snuggling next to with a sleepy grin as if he hadn’t just been wide awake and crying his eyes out five minutes before. All was once again right in toddlerland. I closed the door and tip toed back to my room where I proceeded to lie awake for the next twenty minutes.

There are many things that can keep me up at night. What if I am on the wrong track, what if I fail, what if something goes terribly, terribly wrong? How nice would it be if all my fears and doubts could be as easily silenced as my son’s. On those nights when I lie awake in a panic, does my mom still wake up wondering why her ears are tingling?

Of course none of that matters to the little boy down the hall. He doesn’t care that about what I do or don’t do well. All he cares about is that there is someone who will hold him tight when he’s afraid and help make everything right, and he adores me for it. It gives me a warm feeling that is almost worth the 3AM wake up call. Almost.

My boys will be grown and on their own in what will seem like a blink of the eye. I’ll soon know first hand whether or not mom ears ever lose their acute sense of hearing. If fears seem more terrible at night, at least I can take comfort knowing that as time flies by, dawn will arrive that much sooner, and with it, delicious coffee.

The following is the author's description of t...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Excuse me?

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it
Pinterest fail truck cake
One of the many reasons I am not followed on Pinterest

It was my 6yo’s birthday weekend extravaganza. We threw him a party with his friends, 14 kids in total, followed by a slumber party with one of his cousins, a bonfire the next evening, and a visit by his grandparents on Sunday. By the time the various parties ended, I was exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to sit back with a glass of wine or three. If I chose not to write the following Monday, I think many would agree that I had a pretty good reason to take a day off.

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” – Jim Rohn

Instead, I am writing. On my About page, I have stated that I post on Mondays and Thursdays. I’ve made a promise. I could try to pretend that no one has read those words, but my stat reports show otherwise. Would the world come crashing down if I broke this little promise? Hardly, but I’d have to live with the knowledge that I had allowed myself to slip. What would I do the next time life gets in my way? What if one missed day becomes two, or a missed week becomes a missed month. Suddenly I am out of the game before I ever had a chance to get started.

“The price of discipline is always less than the pain of regret.” – Nido Qubein

I received confirmation this week that my request to terminate my agreement with my former publishing channel has been processed. That’s it. I am officially on my own. Now is not the time to give into excuses. No, now is the time to buckle down and find a way to push forward.

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson

Besides, it could always be worse. The NaNoWriMo challenge is underway. Participating writers, try to write a novel consisting of a minimum of 50k words in 30 days. I’m in no way shape or form participating. While participants are toiling away in their creative sanctuaries, hoping that a loved one might occasionally check their vital signs and/or throw them a cookie, I’ve been fortunate enough to party with my favorite people and gorge on pizza and cake.

“There’s always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you’re not one of your creditors.” – Author unknown

It dawned on me as I thought of those struggling writers that I don’t need to make excuses. I’ve not promised anything I can’t deliver. I’ve promised to post on Mondays and Thursdays, but I never promised a specific word count goal. I may still slip one day, but that day is not today. I may have lost some sleep this weekend, but I have yet to lose my determination to succeed.

 

Wake up to a new and improved you

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

The sun had set Tuesday evening and I informed my son that it once again time for him to go to bed. Normally he moans and groans. “I’m not tired!” he’ll complain. “Five more minutes!” or “I just want to finish this show!” He doesn’t realize that the more he whines, the more convinced I am that bedtime has arrived. But Tuesday was complaint free – he was eager to go to bed.

Of course even though he wasn’t fighting me, we still weren’t completely able to take the express route to his bedroom. Instead we had to stop at each and every room of our house (excepting his brother’s because no one disturbs toddlerland after lights out.) At each stop, he would look into the room and say, “Goodbye [insert room name]. You are never going to see this five-year-old again.”

A wee bit melodramatic? Maybe. The ultimate bedtime manipulation? Perhaps, but he was just telling the room the truth. Upon Wednesday morning, the person emerging from his bedroom would be six.

I had to envy him a little. In his mind he was going to go to sleep a child, but would transform overnight into a more mature and capable version of himself. Someone who magically would now be able to handle more responsibility than ever before. Someone who would be instantly wiser. Kiddo 6.0 – now with even more confidence!

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all wake up one morning and suddenly be better than the person we were the night before?

A couple of days ago, I came across an article on the most viewed TED talks of all time, one of which was by Shawn Achor on the happy secret to better work. I’d seen it before, but it has an intriguing message at its core, and is entertaining enough to watch again. So I did.

“See what we’re finding is it’s not necessarily the reality that shapes us, but the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. And if we can change the lens, not only can we change your happiness, we can change every single educational and business outcome at the same time.”

In his presentation, he argues that sustained happiness is not achieved by success. Instead it is happiness that creates success. So just be happy.

He makes it sound so easy. A kid can be happy for no other reason than he or she was named line leader for the day, but it can be difficult to remember how to appreciate the small joys once you’ve fallen out of the habit. Difficult, but if Shawn Achor’s stats are accurate, worth the effort.

Some of the most common tips for how to gain sustained happiness and self-confidence are to act positively and dream big. Considering a good night’s sleep directly correlates with my ability to do both of these things, my son’s way of thinking might not be that far off. Maybe I do just need to worry less about success and sleep more. Even if I don’t wake to overnight millions, at least I am better rested.

So success –  instead of chasing you, I’m going to try snuggling under the covers and appreciating where I am. When you are ready, you’ll know where to find me.

A foolish man seeks happiness
click on images for attribution

What have you done with your extra hour?

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

The inventor of Daylight Savings Time obviously was not a family man, or at least he wasn’t the primary caregiver. If he was, he would never have proposed a system in which children under the age of thirteen are expected to go to bed or expected to stay in bed after waking up an hour differently from what they are accustomed to. Mine, like so many others, don’t take the change well. The following day is almost assured to be a cranky day. This year, Daylight Savings Time ended the same weekend as Halloween. We also had a cold front roll in combined with rain. Extreme sugar induced mood swings, time change crankiness, and all of us forced to stay inside, what could be better?!

We had allowed our boys to stay up late the evening before the change with the hope that they might sleep in an extra hour the following day. While this plan has never once worked, we always remain hopeful. By the time things had quieted down, the hubby and I were exhausted. My hubby turned to me and asked, what would you do if you had an extra hour? Without waiting for my response, he told me his answer. “Imagine nine hours of sleep.”

I will admit that the idea of nine hours of sleep each night did sound heavenly at the time. Earlier in the week, our toddler chose to wake in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. Extra time for sleep would be the ultimate luxury, or so I thought Saturday evening. On Sunday, the rain had passed and a look out the window showed a beautiful Fall day. While I drank my morning coffee, I found myself thinking, what would I do, really?

An extra hour every day equates into essentially an extra three years over a lifetime. Would I really want to spend that time in bed, or would I take that time and do something more exciting? Then again, would I even be allowed to spend that time on myself, or would I be expected to spend that extra time in the office? As the saying goes, nature abhors a vacuum. If I didn’t find a use of those extra sixty minutes, I am pretty confident that someone or something else would fill it for me.

I often think that life would be so much easier if there were more hours in the day, but is that really the truth or an opportunity for more stress to enter into my life?

Perhaps it might be better to examine the flip side of the question. If I had one less hour everyday, what would I be willing to sacrifice? If the answer to that comes to mind easily, then what is stopping me from letting it go today and gaining that extra hour tomorrow?

What is stopping you?

Time is what we want the most