Life as I know it – Page 48

Staying positive is tough, but I’ve always liked a challenge

April 28, 2014April 26, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

English: Think positive (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My husband and I visited several parts of Australia for our honeymoon. While there we were entertained to learn that there was an entire news program dedicated to Happy News. The other programs were following the pattern of increasing the scare factor in order to generate ratings, but this program had decided that they were going to focus on the inspirational and feel good pieces.

Watching the program was like eating a scoop of sorbet after a meal, a delicious palette cleanser. I wish I could say we watched more of it so that they might have gained a few ratings, but we were on vacation and I didn’t want to stay in front of a television all day. I do hope the program stayed true to its principles and is still on the air.

Several years ago, I watched Michael Moore’s film, Bowling for Columbine which takes a look at school shooting and explores the factors that may or may not have allowed that terrible event to occur. Whether or not you agree with his politics, he does bring up an interesting comparison between the nightly news in the US and the nightly news in Canada. In his film, the US program made much higher use of flashy graphics and scary headlines, or endangering a reporter without need, as means of compelling a viewer to tune in than its Canadian counterpart.

When I decided to venture into the world of blogging, I did so with trepidation. I had read the comments section on sites like Yahoo and You Tube. People can be so cruel, especially when they don’t have to use their real name. I truly wish I could say that I was still shocked by what people are willing to put in writing.

I’ve attended leadership and management classes as well as read several books on the subject. Time and time again, I have been told about the importance of addressing negative behavior immediately before it has a chance to fester within the team. Because unchecked, that’s exactly what it will do. The casual cruel comment tends to make a person defensive, tempting them to lash out in retaliation or worse, against an innocent bystander.

As leaders, we have to confront these issues head on. Nip it in the bud. We cannot afford to be afraid of confrontation. Courage, professionalism, and respectability can be equally contagious.

It takes one positive thought to change your l... — It takes one positive thought to change your life, just one positive thought. So why spend your time thinking negatively? (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

When I began blogging, I decided early on that I wanted to maintain a professional and mostly positive tone. The best way to inspire others is to lead by example. I found a free site called social-searcher.com which analyzes everything I post on my blog, on Twitter, or Facebook and assigns it into a category such as positive, negative, or neutral.

Occasionally I get a red square next to one of my posts. I do enjoy satire and dry humor. My attempts to be funny typically get flagged as negative, but overall I am proud to say that I have been in the green more often than not.

I encourage you to check out your own stats some time using this tool, then click on the analytics tab. Next ask yourself are you happy with your results?

The promises we make to ourselves are often the hardest to keep

April 21, 2014April 21, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

We celebrated Easter over the weekend. My older sister came to visit with her family and we all celebrated with good food, conversation, and bags and bags of candy. I will be honest with you, I wanted to give myself a vacation from writing. What is the good of setting your own schedule if you don’t get to take some time off now and then. I rationalized that I could take a holiday off and no one would notice.

I announced this to my husband. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I felt my skin begin to crawl. I’ve been writing about execution, accountability, and leadership and here I was talking about shirking from my responsibilities just because it wasn’t convenient. I felt dirty. But the words were out there, all my husband would have to do is say something like “sounds good,” or “you’ve been working hard, a break would do you good,” and the conversation would be over.

He didn’t say either. Instead he just looked at me with a frown and said “you have to. It doesn’t have to be long, but you have to.” He kept me from making one of the worst mistakes – assuming that everyone’s lives were just like my own.

I follow several other blogs. After reading a series of good news stories on one of them, I reached out to the blog’s author. I wanted to know how she had been fortunate enough to find her publisher. She nicely wrote me back that her publisher found her after coming across her blog. Now she has a deal on a trilogy. What if the agent, publisher, bulk book buyer, kindred spirit looking for inspiration, or media mogul of my dreams was surfing the internet and found someone else all because I just didn’t feel like writing today.

: English: A milk chocolate Easter Bunny. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sure I might not know that I had missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime, but it still wouldn’t change the fact that I missed the opportunity to be noticed. And for what? Sixty to ninety minutes and a chocolate bunny?

I’ve read that it is a good idea to detail your posting schedule is on your ABOUT page. I’ve not embraced this idea to date because once you put something in writing, you’ve made a commitment. I don’t like to make promises I can’t keep. But perhaps it is time to do just that.

Over the last six months, I’ve kept promises made to myself. I’ve written on my writing days and spent time with my family on my off days, but perhaps it is now time to make promises to you the reader. Isn’t keeping the promises we rather avoid a major part of Easter?

If you are visiting my blog for the first time, Welcome. I blog mostly about parenthood, entrepreneurship, my inspiration, and writing, and I blog Mondays and Thursdays.

I am being buried alive! But at least the view is nice.

April 17, 2014April 17, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

In the back of my mind I knew this day was coming, and yet it is one thing to be mentally prepared for it, and quite another thing to experience it first hand. We awoke the other day to a world made nearly inhabitable. A blanket of near fluorescent yellow-green dust covered every surface and more powder circulated through the air made so thick you could chew it. Our eyes burned and breathing without breaking into coughing spasms became a conscious struggle. Survival would depend on how diligently we had built up our stores of medical supplies during the months prior.

Am I describing some post apocalyptic hell scape? No. It is time once again for pollen season in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Raleigh’s nickname is the City of Oaks, and it shows. One of the things that separates it from other cities such as Charlotte is the amount of greenery preserved within the city limits. It’s a lovely city in the autumn as the leaves begin to change, and a beauty in late March when the flowers begin to bloom. Most of the year there are few places I would rather be. But then there is April (and sometimes May).

In 2008, Mark Wahlberg starred in M. Night Shyamalan’s movie, The Happening in which people begin to mysteriously engage in highly self-destructive behaviour. Spoiler alert – the behavior is caused by an air-borne pathogen much like pollen. The movie wasn’t exactly a critical darling, with many people laughing at its premise. But those who have experienced pollen season in Raleigh have to wonder if the trees are in fact out to get us. Just look at pollen under a microscope! Ouch!

Thankfully rain helps to wash it away, but in between storms this dust gets everywhere and easily transfers onto EVERYTHING. Don’t try sitting down outside during pollen season unless you want your rear end to be highlighted in green upon standing. You can try to sweep it up and all you wind up doing is launching it back into the air where it either settles back on another surface or in your lungs and eyes. My vaccum is no match for it. Pollen is like nature’s take on glitter. I’ve only encountered one substance that is harder to get rid of after you touch it, and that is dust from the moon. At least the moon dust leaves smears you can brag about.

Normally I would try to tie this back to one of my usual topics: parenthood, entrepreneurship, or writing. I could say something inspirational like how a single granular of pollen may be tiny on its own but together can lay siege to an entire city, I could write about the importance of planning ahead for business or writing. I could laugh about how my kids’ pollen colored hand and foot prints make my job as a parent easier because I can better track what they’ve gotten into. I’d scour the internet for related articles. I could expand on any of those topics, but I am finding it difficult to concentrate.

Kermit the frog had it right when he said “It’s not easy being green”.

Be accountable. Be a champion.

April 14, 2014April 10, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

Demotivator : Fired (Photo credit: muffytyrone)

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’ve recently had to become re-acquainted with housekeeping. Luckily, my eldest son is at a magical age. He is just old enough to be trusted with chores, and just young enough to feel a sense of reward based on mom and dad’s praise alone rather than requiring the monetary variety.

One night, not too long ago, he offered to wipe down all our kitchen surfaces. We have a glass table and it shows ever smear and ketchup stained fingerprint, so we eagerly took him up on his offer while we put away other things. Except we neglected to remove the entire dinner setting from the table before he got started.

Smash.

Both my husband and I looked up from our respective areas in the connecting rooms to see that our son had learned a lesson in gravity. One of our glassware had magically transformed the floor into a barefoot nightmare. Our son must have become too enthusiastic with his wiping and swiped it right off the table top.

He looked at the glass. He looked at us. He looked back at the glass.

I expected waterworks. I expected him to blame his toddler brother for distracting him. I expected him to blame his father for leaving the glass on the table. I expected him to blame me for not magically being there to catch the glass before it fell.

I did not expect him to calmly say. “I am sorry mommy. I broke the glass. Are you disappointed in me?”

I shook my head and told him “No. Accidents happen, but I need you to go to another room while we clean this up.”

He said okay, but then he surprised me again. He wasn’t able to finish his chore in the kitchen, but instead of running off to play, he walked around picking up his toys so that it would be easier for me to vacuum.

Am I bragging a little here about my wonderful, mature, preschooler? You’d better believe it, but this story illustrates a under-recognized virtue – accountability.

Accountability is so under-recognized that it does not fall on any of the various lists of virtues. It is true. I looked it up.

Honesty is on the virtue list. I could have prompted my son with a question, “Did you break the glass?” knowing full well he did. Had he answered affirmatively, he would have been truthful, but that wouldn’t be a boast-worthy story.

No, I bring this story up because he not only showed honesty, but also respect, courage, and responsibility by the simple act of admitting to his mistake on his own and finding a way to make amends without burdening the offended party with unnecessary investigation or pursuit of restitution. In other words he made it right without getting Law & Order: MOM involved.

Accountability is another one of those virtues that appears to be harder to retain as we age. Perhaps it is because accountability requires that you provide a report to someone, and public speaking can be scary.

Perhaps it is because no one wants to get stuck in the infinite loop found within the problem solving flow chart.

Jokes aside, it is all fun and games until someone gets hurt. If you follow scandals in general, the damage caused by the reveal of the cover-up is worse than the damage from the original transgression (excluding violent crimes), and yet people keep forgetting that lesson. They choose not to admit to the crime up front, and hope that no one will ever notice. These people place a higher value on other things than personal accountability.

Personal accountability is simple on paper. You accepted a task. You are responsible for ensuring it is completed as agreed. There will always be factors that are out of your control. It is your responsibility to minimize the risk of those factors. If you still fail to complete the task, it is your responsibility to notify others promptly and make amends.

Unfortunately personal accountability is also tough. Unless we are gifted with great genes, looking in the mirror isn’t always pleasant, especially when reporting bad news. We can’t all be Dorian Grey. Many of us would prefer to imagine ourselves looking the way we did during some prior event. Dressed to the nines, weight – eh good enough, and skin stunningly perfect. Rather than a mirror, we prefer to look at a doctored photograph.

So if accountability becomes rarer, the laws of supply and demand would suggest that it should grow more valuable over time. Therefore people should value personal accountability over other lesser things. Right?

Accidents happen. Admit them to yourself and to others. Make them right. And move on. In the words of Freddie Mercury:

I’ve paid my dues
Time after time.
I’ve done my sentence
But committed no crime.
And bad mistakes ‒
I’ve made a few.
I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I’ve come through.

…’Cause we are the champions.

We can only be the champions of change if we own up to what’s gone wrong.

Importance of Accountability & Integrity In A Workplace (ltmarie2011.wordpress.com)
Teen Does the Responsible Thing at a Wal-Mart (inspireconversation.com)
Would You Lie to Get Your Dream Job? (topcv123.wordpress.com)
Pass The Buck (hillbillyprincess77.wordpress.com)
day 541: be like a tree. (yogisjourneytolife.wordpress.com)

You have to dance like nobody’s watching

April 10, 2014September 16, 2014 by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it, Personal Favorites

Have you had the pleasure of watching the Lego Movie, or heard the What Does The Fox Say song yet? No? Well if you ever found yourself near my house on a Friday night you would hear song, Everything is Awesome and the aforementioned song blasting on our speakers over and over again as my boys engaged in what has become our “beginning of the weekend dance party!”

Dance Floor (Photo credit: enric archivell)

My eldest son’s dancing consists of jumping, running in a circle, spinning on the floor, and imitating a robot. My youngest is still mastering walking and mostly performs a series of squats and sways while pointing his fingers in the air. I am not even going to attempt to describe the series of movements my husband and I consider our own dancing style, but needless to say we likely won’t be contestants on dancing with the stars anytime soon.

We may be somewhat rhythmically impaired, but it doesn’t stop us from letting loose every weekend. I am going to miss these moments when my boys age into the tween years and are too embarrassed to be seen walking with either my husband or I, let alone be seen dancing with us. The party is going to be over way too soon.

Susanna Clark and Robert Leigh penned the following lyrics for their song, “Come from the Heart”

You’ve got to sing like you don’t need the money,
You’ve got to love like you’ll never get hurt,
You’ve got to dance like there’s nobody watching,
You’ve got to come from the heart if you want it to work.

These words are proven true over and over again.

Nicolas Cage was recently interviewed about his Oscar-winning performance for Leaving Las Vegas. He said, and I paraphrase, that he was so sure that the film would never been seen that he didn’t worry about what the critics or academy would say, he just committed himself to the role. By not worrying about being watched, he was freed to do something remarkable.

I struggled severely with my first several attempts at writing, not for lack of imagination, but because I was too concerned about forcing my words be best-seller caliber, or at least be quote-worthy. Then I saw a rebroadcasted interview with the late Elmore Leonard, author of dozens of novels. He repeated his longstanding advice, “If it sounds like writing. Rewrite it.” I realized I just had to start typing, and stop worrying about who was reading. As long as I gave it my all, it would work out in the end like it was supposed to.

If you are reading this, then the process worked, and if you aren’t, well… I’ll still be dancing on Friday.

We Can Dance If We Want To (leiladayne.wordpress.com)
Dance Like Nobody’s Watching (ppq365.wordpress.com)
How do you dance like nobody’s watching? (ask.metafilter.com)

Category: Life as I know it

Staying positive is tough, but I’ve always liked a challenge

The promises we make to ourselves are often the hardest to keep

I am being buried alive! But at least the view is nice.

Be accountable. Be a champion.

You have to dance like nobody’s watching

Thank you for your response. ✨

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