Category: Life as I know it

Help Wanted – Embracing Outsourcing

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it
Good Housekeeping is one of several periodical...
Good Housekeeping is one of several periodicals related to homemaking. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve recently suffered a terrible loss. My part-time housekeeper has found a better opportunity elsewhere. While this is great news for her (and I wish her all the best), it is awful news for me. I am going to have to somehow figure out how to insert deep cleaning back into my already full schedule. Cue the nervous tics.

She wasn’t coming by weekly, and I have never completely abdicated my responsibility in keeping the house habitable in between cleanings, but I am probably not going to have my house featured in Good Housekeeping Magazine based on my efforts alone anytime soon.

The days she did arrive were near magical. I would open the door and all the surfaces were polished to a high shine. The kids could be shouting or running around like maniacs and I could sit back and enjoy them rather than feel the stress of needing to straighten everything up pile up on top of the stress from the work day.

I get asked all the time how I manage to work a full-time job, raise two kids, and write. I’ll let you in on my little secret – I now outsource whenever possible. But I wasn’t always so willing to let go.

I spent the first several years of my career with the idea that the only way to prove myself as an effective team player and overall value to the organization was to do everything myself. I rarely turned a task down. Obviously a person asking me for my help was doing so because they knew I could take care of it effectively and on time. Saying no would be admitting to a weakness or other failing. Saying yes to such a request was the easiest way to accept their high praise of my work. Right?

A few years later a position in management opened up. I thought to myself, I’ve shown everyone how great I can be, I know I am going to get asked to fill the position. I am the clear choice.

Only then did I realize that I had made some major tactical errors:

  1. I had made myself too valuable in my current position
  2. I had not shown that I could delegate or push back on tasks effectively
  3. I had assumed the position was mine for the taking

Luckily I was able to identify a quick fix solution for the first two errors. I would train my peers making my replacement easier to find. I did this by delegating tasks, because hands on experience works best. Additionally I learned how prioritize and how to say no. I needed to focus my time on only the most important tasks.

Up until this point I had a great relationship with my boss. He was well aware of my career aspirations. Unfortunately his departure from the company was the reason for the open management position. I did not have nearly the same relationship with the remaining hiring manager. He would not know I was interested in the position if I did not have the confidence and courage to ask for it outright.

I wrote a whole essay on why I deserved the position in the most basic persuasive format: intro, reason 1, 2, 3, summary close with action statement. It must have gotten my point across.

I was offered the position, and could have easily reverted back to the friendly co-worker who said yes to everything. Sure, I would have been liked by everyone, but I would have been positively buried by work. My first year in management might have been my last. I either would become burnt out, or so ineffective at the job I was hired to do that my boss would have had no choice but to replace me.

Saying yes to happiness means learning to say ...
Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to things and people that stress you out. -Thema Davis (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

Sure, I like to think that I can take on any task my company throws my way, but I’ve learned to recognize that so could a number of other people, especially if given a little bit more practice. If I want to develop my staff to their fullest potential then I owe it to them to delegate more from time to time.

Additionally while no one likes to be told no all the time, the occasional “no” can be liberating. I may not be able to say I have it all, but truth be told I don’t want it all. I don’t want to spend every waking hour during the week working, or my weekends cleaning. I don’t want a life full of stress.  I’d rather spend my time with my family or the working on the tasks I enjoy such as writing my next project.

Unfortunately until I find my next great hire, it would appear that I need to become re-acquainted with my vacuum.

 

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What is your personal mission statement?

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

an-uncertain-faith-webRecently I was fortunate enough to be interviewed by fellow author, Megan Cyrulewski on her blog. She asked me during the interview what I hoped that people would feel while reading my novel, An Uncertain Faith. I have to admit that I did not have a ready answer for this question, at least not one that I could answer succinctly.

I actually did have a goal in mind when writing, an intended call to action, but to explain properly, I was afraid I might inadvertently give away the ending. The whole book actually was a result of a fairly simple basic writing prompt. Think of one thing you feel truly passionate about. Explain in one sentence your position on the subject. Now build up a case to support your belief. Poof, thousands upon thousands of words later there was a story.

If I consider my writing a business, and my book a product, this exercise was similar to crafting a mission statement.

Since then, it’s almost become a game to see the hidden message behind some of my favorite works and not just the literary variety. There have been a number of ads lately for the upcoming Muppets movie. I’ll use that as an example.

Example of Fraggle dreamsharing as seen in &qu...
Example of Fraggle dreamsharing as seen in “Boober’s Dream.” Clockwise from top are Red, Gobo, Boober, Wembley and Mokey. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Muppets were just one of the creations of Jim Henson. Another was a show called Fraggle Rock which I positively adored growing up. According to the boxed set of session one that my family was so nice enough to gift me with, Jim Henson and his team created Fraggle Rock as a means to inspire no less than World Peace. By showing the interconnection between cultures, he attempted to teach children of my generation how we are all part of a much larger world, and while could be huge differences between cultures, there were some universal similarities.

The show only ran for a few years, but he actually did manage to reach out to the world with a simple children’s program. Fraggle Rock actually became the first US television show to be broadcast in the Soviet Union. He helped to make the world a little smaller years before Facebook or Twitter, and he did it with puppets and an amazing imagination.

How many of us can honestly say we aim so high when we develop our own mission statement?

Often we write mission statements which resolve around monetary goals. The specific words used can be fancy, but usually, can be summarized along the lines of we are in the business of adding value for our customers and stakeholders.

I am hardly the exception to this rule. The company I work decided that it was time for us to revisit our own mission statement and core values. I learned from the process that I definitely shouldn’t be submitting my resume to Webster’s anytime soon as, in my opinion, there was way too much time spent debating the definition of the word attitude.

At the end, we selected four words and a semi-catchy phrase that we hoped would help us focus as a company towards activities which would result in a greater return on capital employed than had the owner of the company merely placed money in the bank. My company prides itself on its own contributions to the community as well as the contributions of its employees, but the words on our home page are definitely not as noble of an aspiration as Jim’s.

I do wonder what else Jim might have been able to accomplish if he were still around today.

Rather than try to summarize this post with my opinion I would like to close with an open-ended question. If neither time nor money were an object what would be your personal mission statement?

Blue Marble Animation
Blue Marble Animation (Photo credit: NASA Goddard Photo and Video)

 

 

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Leadership and Management – is it so easy a caveman could do it?

by Allie P., posted in Personal Favorites

My kids recently discovered the movie, the Croods, which is about a family of cavemen who have to leave the safety of their cave due to a series of earthquakes and other eruptions. Mid way through the father, quite bewildered by his family’s behavior, tells his daughter, I kept you safe. To which his daughter replied, we weren’t living, we just weren’t dying, there is a difference.

The Croods8
The Croods8 (Photo credit: TheCroodsGame)

It is very easy to confuse leadership with management. In the case above, the father was a great family manager. He was able to assess each of their strengths and weaknesses and as a result they were able to hunt for food as a team. They all shared in each other’s success and when the food supply ran short, the father did the noble thing by skimping on his ration so that his children could grow stronger. He also went out of his way to protect them from dangerous threats such as sabre toothed tigers and other weird creatures I am glad aren’t around today.

But he was a terrible leader. Why? Because he was so focused on ensuring that all were aware of the near certain danger, his family wasn’t able to rally around an image of a better future. Without the ability to visualize the future, the family accepted the threats at face value and never tried to find ways around them. They were well-managed, but they were stuck in a dark cave, ignorant of the larger world, and would have remained there as the land collapsed around them had it not been for an injection of fresh ideas in the form of a stranger.

Illustration from The Pied Piper of Hamelin
Illustration from The Pied Piper of Hamelin (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

That same stranger never showed whether or not he had managerial chops. He cared about the teenage girl, and eventually bonded with the father, but never went out of his way to really get to know the others. He gave them some nice tools and shared innovative survival strategies, but really in the end only made them more like himself rather than try to capitalize on their individual potential. He had no assurance that there would actually be a better tomorrow, and could just as easily placed the group in an even riskier situation like a Pied Piper. He proved you can be a great leader, but also be lousy manager.

Great leaders are champions of change and not afraid to take risks, they pull their teams along with them. They are the hunters. Great managers are efficiency experts and nurturing by nature, they minimize risk and push their teams into situations where success is achievable. They are the gatherers. Whether you are a great leader or a great manager you are going to get a workout.

A word of caution though. There is a reason that there is usually a trusty sidekick in every hero story. It is nearly impossible to be both the leader and the manager at the same time. The mentality is just too different.

So breathe. You don’t have to be both. It’s actually a lot less stressful for everyone if you simply pick one role and be the best possible version of that singular role you can be. Look in the mirror long and hard and figure out which route is best for you. Then go out and find your compliment. Recruit or train up. You can also still find your leadership or management balance in the form of a trusted business advisor. Self employed or other team of one? It’s still worth recognizing your strength and building up on those skills, with any luck they will come in handy before you know it.

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Caution – Don’t feed the bears or the doubters!

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it
English: Do not feed the bears An unusual warn...
English: Do not feed the bears An unusual warning for Southern Scotland. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A woman I had worked with for more than ten years recently left my company after being offered a position with a great deal more responsibility and fancy new title. She was excited to advance her career but was incredibly nervous. The company she was going to had picked her for the position after only a few brief meetings and some words on her resume. What would happen if she got there and they all found out that she was not able to do the job as advertised?

The days from the time she turned in her notice and her last day passed quickly. Those of us who she was leaving behind had to be trained on her tasks so that at a minimum we could cover the work until a longer term replacement could be found. She grew even more apprehensive. We were planning for life without her. If she failed now, she couldn’t count on a spot remaining open for her.

I was working remotely on her last day and so was not able to send her off in person. I wouldn’t have even gotten my initial interview with the company had she not been the one to pass my resume along to the hiring manager so a brief note along the lines of “and thank you for all the fish” didn’t seem adequate. (Yes that is a reference to the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy).

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy cover art
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy cover art (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

While looking for inspiration I came across a quote by Marianne Williamson:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

While this quote might have been originally directed at women, it is an observation that should not be considered to be gender specific.

I have come across of number of blogs and listened to presentations in which the author or presenter felt compelled to describe, in length, all the reasons they shouldn’t be considered anyone’s role model.  I have to wonder why they are so afraid that another person might try to emulate them? They have families, friends, or colleagues who care for them and are at least moderately successful in their profession. They wouldn’t have an audience if others didn’t find that they had at least something worthwhile to say. Why shouldn’t someone look to them as a possible mentor?

I know from personal experience that hiring new staff is no easy task. The last thing anyone wants is to have to start the process over due to a poor hire. My former colleague would never have been offered the position if the company hiring her didn’t believe that she was capable of doing the work. To be successful in her new position she was going to have to silence her doubts and embrace the unknown.

In earlier posts, I wrote about how grateful I am that I have a strong support network. However as much as they have helped me, ultimately they have their own goals and pet projects. The person who is chiefly responsible for ensuring my success is me.  It is healthy to possess a moderate ego. If I don’t believe in myself, why should anyone else?

Let the bears of the market find easier meat elsewhere. I am feeling bullish.

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Spring is arriving and for every thing there is a season

by Allie P., posted in Indie book promotion, Life as I know it
Just like the seasons, people have the ability...
Just like the seasons, people have the ability to change (Photo credit: symphony of love)

Earlier this week I was invited to participate in one of my area’s working mom’s luncheons coordinated through the city’s Chamber of Commerce. I love these functions because everyone there is not only trying to expand their network for business purposes, but are genuinely interested in swapping tips for how best to achieve work life balance.

After a bit of pure socialization the more formal portion of the program began and the guest speaker took the stage. She was cheerful and energetic during her introduction and I was eager to hear what secrets this person who so obviously had her life together was going to share with the group.

Then she started telling us her life story, and the smile slipped. I realized very quickly how very wrong I had been to judge her particular book from its cover. She talked about dealing with the death of a parent in her early teens, and how she struggled to put herself through college and achieve her dream job. Just as you thought she was going to wrap up her presentation with the old “and they all lived happily ever after,” she told us about her experience with every parent’s worst nightmare, the loss of a child.

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. I felt my eyes tear up as she went on to talk about how she was only able to get out of bed due to her eldest child and the guilt she felt in having another baby later. Amazingly, somehow she had been able to maintain the ability to feel gratitude even after her ordeal; gratitude for her family, her friends, and her extended support network. She told us about how while her family would never be whole,  they were made stronger.

She tasked us all to discuss the challenges we individually had faced and how we had been able to grow as a result. In full disclosure, no one at my table felt we could top that speech. Her experience had been too raw, too real, for us to process over the next thirty minutes and a cupcake. We instead choose to tackle safer topics such as the ideal age difference in siblings and the headaches resulting from our local kindergarten enrollment process.

Tasmanian Devil in defensive stance, at Tasman...
Tasmanian Devil in defensive stance, at Tasmanian Devil Conservation Park, Tasman Peninsula. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I went home that night and my toddler’s terrible twos were in full force. Imagine a Tasmanian Devil hopped up on speed, chased with a pack of Red Bull. You might then have some idea of his disposition. He was having one of those days. His brother wasn’t exactly helping the situation by demanding my attention each and every time I attempted to sit down and decompress. But as much as I might have been tempted at that moment to sell them to the circus, at least both of my boys were home and healthy.

Obviously dealing with the challenges of living with the pre-school set can in no way compare with the challenges of living without them. As I checked on my boys sleeping peacefully in their beds later that evening, I was reminded of how lucky I have been to have my own family and support network.

Usually I would end my post with some related reading, but as I did not participate in the group assignment when instructed, I would like to take this time to complete my homework. In addition to the gratitude I feel towards the support my family and friends have given me, I would also like to express my thanks to a few of my fellow author/bloggers celebrating their own big news this month for unknowingly inspiring, motivating, and/or helping to guide me through the publishing process.

Listed in no particular order –

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