Tag: life

How To Make An Impact Without Burning Yourself Out

by Allie P., posted in General Tips and Tricks, Life as I know it, Life Hacks

We’re in peak busy mode status here in Pottslandia, what with the eldest trying to get his college applications in order while the hubby and I try to make sense of new acronyms like FAFSA and our youngest starts work on building his own extracurricular activity resume. However, when I learned I was one of 25 women being recognized across multiple industries for measurable influence in their fields and their commitment to lifting other women, I knew I needed to find the time to attend.

The day of the event came and the room filled up with accomplished ladies. I was already familiar with Dr. Amna Shabbir, founder of Success Curated. She’s given a TEDx Talk, which I’d much enjoyed, and has a podcast I’m excited to be a part this month. But there were a lot of new-to-me-faces as well.

For example, I met Dr. Mary Hemphill, who, in addition to a charming laugh and keen fashion sense, has managed to publish books on leadership while maintaining her coaching and speaking schedule. I also met Venus Liles, who somehow found the time to start up a dance party business targeting women who just want to dance and go to bed at a reasonable time, while also founding a law firm for startups.

I met so many others with equally impressive stories. The impact they were making was plain to see. They were movers and shakers. Entrepreneurs and professional motivators. Which led me to wonder: What had I done to merit being among a crowd like this?

Still not entirely sure, I dutifully shared the post-event write-up. I was then touched by the flurry of celebratory notes that followed. I had to remind myself that while a person may not always see the impact they make (they’re too close to the source), it is nevertheless still there. Not only that, it is often the smallest impacts that make the largest difference over time. So how does one make a positive difference in their community without burning themselves out?

Serve as a Connector

Back when I was working in more of a sales role, I learned that accepting that you might not have the best solution for everyone is not only a great way to ensure you are focusing your energy on the prospects most likely to convert into customers. This strategy also helps to build trust with the prospects you turn away. Perhaps you weren’t the right fit now, but maybe as they or their needs change in the future, you might be later.

I’ve applied the same mindset to my day-to-day. I know my limitations, be they time, skill, or experience. If I know in my heart of hearts that I’m not the right person to assist in a situation, I don’t offer more than I can comfortably do. I delegate, allowing others to shine. If I know a person who might be a better fit, I’ll offer an introduction or at least steer them in the right direction by sharing what I know, be it a blog post, a website, a news story, or a video.

Fortunately, I’ve had the opportunity to work with great people across multiple industries. A simple share or intro email takes me next to no time, and yet, when the right people match up, magic still happens for all involved—including me. I’ve had a front-row seat to new SaaS platforms and Masterclasses, which then have gone on to help countless others without me doing more than send a note along the lines of “you should check this out.”

Be Generous With Your Experience Within Reason

In the movie, The Dark Knight, the Joker says “If you are good at something, never do it for free.” This is actually solid advice if you are trying to monetize your passion. I would never advise a writer to provide copy or a designer to produce art with the only compensation being “exposure.” People have to eat. That said, I’m happy to share lessons I’ve learned the hard way. I’m not doing the work for them. I’m just pointing out where the dangers are so they can take a more informed action.

I do this because I don’t believe that we all need to learn through the same baseline of trial and error. That’s not how progress works. We wouldn’t have GPS to plan our routes today if someone hadn’t gotten so frustrated by people getting lost all the time that they invented the magnetic compass.

I am proud of the books I’ve written, but I also take deep satisfaction whenever I’ve seen an author I’ve chatted with, or beta read, earn awards or land a book deal. I love seeing my name on a book cover, but seeing my name on the acknowledgements page is certainly pretty cool too.

Plant Seeds And Foster Growth

When I was first promoted to manager, I was given the advice to immediately look for my replacement. At the time, this seemed an odd strategy. Wouldn’t this potentially put me in danger of being deemed redundant? What if my employer liked the other person more? What if they were, simply, better? Having just gained the role, the last thing I wanted to do was to give someone reason to fire me.

I gave it a try anyway. I looked for candidates who had the potential to challenge me when hiring and trained those already on my team who’ve expressed interest in how to do what I do, even if it means they might outgrow and leave us. I figured a little competition would keep me from becoming complacent in my role. Even better, if they could someday take on some of my responsibilities, I’d be freed up to take on new things too. I wasn’t setting myself up to be fired. By advocating and encouraging others, I was setting myself up for my own next big thing.

And it worked. It actually worked better than I’d anticipated. I’ve risen in the ranks more than once across multiple industries. And yes, I am proud of how high I’ve climbed on the corporate ladder, but I’m equally proud whenever I revisit my network and see how many of the people I’ve worked with have gone and done the same. Best of all, this didn’t require me to do anything other than my job—in fact, in many ways it made my job easier.

Enjoy The Ripples

Writing out all these tips has made me incredibly uncomfortable. I’m much more at home sharing what I’ve done wrong over the years, versus what I’ve done right. But every now and then it is good to look back, if only to remind myself that it is okay to celebrate my own wins as much as I enjoy celebrating the wins of others. I may, at times, feel like the things I have done were drops in a bucket—I was just treating others the way I want to be treated, but even a drop in a bucket has the potential to produce ripples that impact more lives than one and that can make all the difference.

If nothing else, those ripples might just help you make a few friends along the way.

Allie Potts and Dr. Amna Shabbir of Success Curated at the 2026 Triangle Women of Impact Luncheon

The Kids May Just Be Okay

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it
Header image with a pencil and a background that says senior. Text reads as The Kids May Be Okay

The blank page is a scary thing. When I first started this blog, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say. I only knew there were words in me and that limiting myself to writing only sales slicks and technical process workflows wasn’t enough. As the saying goes, I had an itch to scratch. But like a bug bite on your back you just can’t reach, I struggled to find relief.

The general advice then was to start by writing what you know. Okay, that’s all well and good, but I doubted my stories about international conference calls gone long over what epoxy should be used in production weren’t exactly going to help me gain an audience. At least, they weren’t likely to gain an audience that would also enjoy reading my fiction.

It turned then instead to the only other thing that I could think of that I, alone, was uniquely qualified to write about—my kids. Did I just use an em dash there? Why yes, I did. Guess what, human writers use them too and have used them for yeeeeeaaaaarrrrrsss. Not just AIs. But I digress…

My earliest posts were about my eldest child’s first days of day care and primary school. I dubbed him Kiddo then and have referred to him as such on this site ever since. However, as he started to grow and gain more independence, I cut back on his stories—not because I loved him any less or was any less proud of him, but because I recognized that his stories were no longer mine to tell. They were his own. And so I pivoted to more content focused on the actual business of writing.

Some would say that pivot allowed me to provide more focused, reader-facing value. This is all well and good from a content marketing and discovery perspective (some might even say it was a critical SEO strategy for business success), but it turns out that unlike the characters in my book, my kid didn’t stop growing just because I stopped writing about him. Go figure.

Kiddo sent out his first college application.

I wasn’t prepared for the emotional hit from that simple act.

A friend of mine in the field of behavioral science introduced me to the concepts of the arrival and destination fallacies in our talks on perfectionism and happiness. She’s called me out in the past when I would make grand statements like, “I’ll start working out more once the kids are out of the house” after bemoaning my current weight. Statements like that made it seem as if I was somehow trapped by these not-so-small-anymore humans. Admittedly, I could have far worse captors, but eventually, I had to admit they weren’t holding me back. They were just my latest excuse.

The person holding me back has almost always been me.

I, in many ways, am the source of my own complaints, but I also like to think by recognizing what I am, I am also a constant source of progress.

During the peak of the pandemic, I’d become focused on doing what a “good mom should.” I grew accustomed to waiting life out and to sacrifice. Afterward, as our lives opened back up, I convinced myself I needed to compensate for all the things these offspring of mine missed out on (whether they asked for it or not). I didn’t realize what was happening at the time. It was likely just a series of small chips here and there. However, five-ish years later, it has dawned on me that somehow, some way, a large chunk of the person I once was had gone missing (but apparently not the chunk of person around my waist).

I told myself, this simply would not do. Since that conversation, I consciously made an effort to do the things I wanted to do as a person rather than as a mom. It’s been a year or so. This meant I stopped waiting for “better” timing to do the things I enjoy. I made plans with friends. I went out to dinner on a school night. And if these excursions resulted in the kids having to make their own dinners or find their own rides from A to B every now and then, so be it. They were old enough now to handle it, and if I was being honest with myself, had been for some time.

More importantly, I stopped allowing myself to feel guilty about it. They adapted without understanding and without complaint. To be honest, their lack of reaction stung a bit at first. Did they not miss me? Was what I’d done for them over the years truly ‘invisible work?’ The thoughts gave me pause, but I realized that those thoughts were just the latest offering from my internal excuse-making machine. Putting the self-doubts to the side, it was plain to see that by pulling back, I’d actually given them more. I’d given them the tools to become more capable people. I’d given them more responsibility. I’d demonstrated my trust in them and now they were thriving.

You might think, then, after this warm fuzzy of a realization, I would be more emotionally prepared to accept this recent milestone—Kiddo’s latest step toward discovering his own independent self. Yeah, I thought I would be too. Instead, all I can think of is his face turning to us with a smile as he boarded the school bus that first time. I can still picture his little wave and feel my heart once again in my throat as the bus drove away.

It has made me realize that while I may have wandered off for a while, if given the choice, I would have done it all the same.

There is a quote attributed to Robin Sharma that goes like this, “Getting lost along your path is a part of finding the path you are meant to be on,” and another from Tricia Goyer, who stated, “I suppose sometimes it takes getting lost to enjoy the joy of being found.”

I am proud of the young men who, sooner than I might like, will be leaving the nest, but I am proud of myself too. I may not be the person I was once, but I filled that missing chunk with memories rather than regrets. Apparently, I’m still growing up. And maybe, just maybe, the kids are going to be okay.

The Bigger Question: An AI, But Not AI Story

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

Mom sat on the couch across the room from me. A mug filled with coffee rested on the windowsill next to her as she regaled me with the latest news. Our most recent addition, a full-sized puppy—part Tasmanian devil, part wanna-be throw-blanket, had decided mom was no longer interesting. She’d taken herself and her chew toy elsewhere. But she’d be back. She’d always be back…

Watching for the inevitable return of the destruct-o-mutt out of the corner of my eye while mom talked has become a bit of a sport in and of itself over the last several months. Sure, the dog is a ball of cuteness, but if one didn’t pay attention to what was going on in the other room, if you were just a second too slow to adjust your position or to take action—well, you might just find yourself with a steaming puddle of coffee in your lap when she came back at full sprint.

Mom leaned forward. “So, I’ve been hearing a lot about AI… Should I be worried?”

There’s a story about Joe Kennedy, the father of the future president, and an encounter with a shoeshine boy. Supposedly, this happened back in 1929. I’m reminded of this story for no particular reason, but thought I’d share it anyway. Anyway, the story goes that almost 100 years ago, the stock market was going crazy. Joe had already been making money in the market for a while by then, but now so was everyone else. Everyone had opinions on potential trades and investments—many based only on secondhand information—including the lowly shoeshine kid.

One day, Joe goes to get his footwear cleaned up. While sitting on the bench, the boy offered up some stock tips.

It was likely just the kid’s way of making conversation in an attempt to earn an extra tip for his trouble. He probably thought nothing of it. However, Joe viewed the conversation differently. From his perspective, when kids who’d likely never seen the inside of a boardroom started to believe they knew enough about the markets to offer financial advice to random people they just met off the street, dumb, reckless decisions were bound to happen.

Joe took it as a sign. At a time when everyone else was betting on Wall Street’s continued boom, Joe took the opposite approach. He bet the other way. He took his money out. As a result, his money stayed safely in his pockets when the bubble finally burst. His family thrived through the Great Depression and is now in the various positions they serve today.

Interpret the Kennedy shoeshine story however you see fit, but back to mine…

“You want to know if I think AIs could kill us?”

She nodded. It’s worth noting that no one wanted my opinion about AIs and killer robots while Battlestar Galactica was on.

I’ll spare you the direct quotes, but the short answer is yes, I do believe these systems have the capability to inflict great harm. I believe this in the same way that I believe the destruct-o-mutt could break a mug and scald my lap with hot coffee. My dog loves to run. To jump. To be all up in your personal space. I recognize she has powerful jaws and an unstoppable wall of muscles that, once launched at you, just don’t quit. She’s a force to be reckoned with.

And yet…

It comes down to nature vs. nurture, opportunity vs. intent, program vs. programmer. My girl is the wussiest fur baby you’ve ever met. She’s afraid of fly swatters and things that go ‘pop!’ We’ve had to move her food dish around because the corner of the kitchen suddenly spooked her. She cowers in fear at the sound of these four letters: “B,” “A,” “T,” “H,” and high-tails it out of the room if she so much as gets a glance of the nail trimmers. The question, therefore, isn’t whether I believe she is capable of causing destruction—she is; it’s more like: do I believe causing full-scale destruction is the only option?

The answer to that second question is a resounding no. I can write this with great confidence. I love my dog. She’s a menace to society, sure, but she’s my menace. I recognize that she’s like Jessica Rabbit. She’s not intrinsically bad; she’s just drawn that way.

An AI generated picture of a white and brown mixed breed dog that is standing beside an incident sign. The dog is wearing a superdog costume on and there are torn up toys all over the floor
Image generated by AI

My goofy girl is intelligent and yet childlike in her innocence and eager to please. This combination has made her highly trainable (to an extent). It took her a few months, but she’s figured out the rules of our household and contributes in her own way. She understands a basic command (whether she listens to them every time is another story). She helps us stay healthier by keeping us active; she brings us joy and provides a needed snuggle or a bit of comical relief. She’s my office assistant and a sweet and loving companion. In short, she makes our lives easier or more difficult depending on the angle you look at it from, but always better by being a part of them.

A day without her knocking something over, slipping out of the gate, or ripping up one of her toys is never guaranteed, but I am not living in fear of what she might do. Why? Because I’ve made it a point to understand her. I’ve made it a point to anticipate how she’ll react, to establish boundaries and guardrails, and to do my best to limit her exposure to potentially dangerous environments. I check the gate latch. I put her on a leash on walks. I’ve listened to experts. I’ve been a responsible pet parent. I’ve been the adult in the room.

We need to listen to those raising the alarm. They know what these tools can do better than anyone. They saw it. They understand what’s going on behind the scenes. They trained these systems firsthand.

We’ve given these software systems access to our financial records and healthcare information. We’ve asked the tools to map out entire genetic sequences—they now have better access to the data about what makes us tick than we do. We’ve given autonomous software control of traffic lights and over our food storage. So the question isn’t: can AIs wreak irrevocable havoc on the human race? The question is: what can we do to mitigate this potential outcome? And that’s a decidedly more complicated answer.

I guess it just comes down to whether or not we are willing to be the adult in the room about it.

Getting back into shape

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

I make no secret of the fact that I have a day job in addition to writing my novels. Some in the publishing community say it means I don’t take my dreams seriously enough. My children, however, have told me once or twice that they enjoy eating. As their voices are typically loudest in my ear, I tend to listen to them more than faceless critics. That said, it also helps that I enjoy my day job too.

While my day job has a corporate headquarters, its staff are scattered across North America. This has allowed me to meet and interact with people coming from a variety of backgrounds and life experiences, which has been an even bigger plus. I’ve also since learned that I am one of many who have chosen to give a new career a chance.

For example, I learned the other day that one of our most recent hires was a spin instructor in her once-upon-a-time past professional life. It came up in conversation when she mentioned she was stiff and was shocked by how out of shape she’d become. She also mentioned how difficult it was to get back into a workout routine after taking an extended absence.

Spin class

It occurred to me that I could say the same about my blog writing habits.

I’d been incredibly disciplined for several years. I’d written even when I could barely summon the energy to get out of bed thanks to a fever. I’d strung words together in between birthday parties and bedtimes. I’d filled page after page time and time again. I’d told myself once the manuscript was done getting back into the blogging habit would be easy.

It is not. It’s not that I’ve forgotten the formula. If anything, I know what needs to be done better than I did before. However, I’ve forgotten how to properly warm-up. That said, I’m here today. I showed up. I followed my own former instructions.

I might not be fit enough to teach a class at the moment, but I’ve taken my first step toward getting back into shape. And when it comes to writing, or pretty much anything else for that matter, there is a lot more you can accomplish by trying than by giving in to all the many excuses to hold it off another day.

The one thing you can trust about SPAM is it never spoils

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

I made a promise. It was a promise I thought would be easy to keep. I was wrong.

I told a friend that I’d wait to see Avengers: Endgame with her, and then she went and got sick, so now I’m having to go to some extreme lengths to avoid spoilers – like actually reading the contents of my spam folder. Lucky for me, it’s proven to be entertaining. Not as entertaining as, say, seeing how the storylines of more than twenty movies can be resolved in a single cinematic-marvel. But entertaining in its own way all the same.

I thought I would share some of my favorites.

“I’m envious. Seems like every time I come back to your website you have a new interesting thing for me to read. How do you stay so motivated? Do you research all of these posts before posting?”

This comment was attached to a post I’d written about the different tools I’ve used for ebook conversion so I might have approved it if the link and user name attached hadn’t been a red flag.  That said, even knowing the compliment wasn’t genuine, it was a bummer to send it to the discard pile. After all, I’d worked hard on that post (and yes, not only had I researched all the products, I’d used them extensively too)

“I together with my guys were reading through the good tricks found on your site and immediately developed a horrible feeling I never expressed respect to the blog owner for those techniques. Most of the young boys became totally glad to read through all of them and have clearly been tapping into these things. Appreciation for really being really helpful as well as for pick out these kinds of exceptional things most people are really desperate to learn about. Our honest apologies for not expressing appreciation to earlier.”

Someone sent in this comment after reading a funny story I’d written about waking up in the middle of the night thinking there was an intruder in my house, when in fact it was only my robotic vacuum cleaner. In case you are curious, I no longer have it run at night as it clearly cannot be trusted. I also have no idea what things the young boys, referenced by the commenter, are tapping into.

“Throughout this awesome pattern of things you actually secure a B- just for effort. Exactly where you confused everybody was first in the particulars. You know, people say, the devil is in the details… And that could not be much more correct at this point. Having said that, let me say to you what exactly did work. The article (parts of it) is definitely incredibly engaging which is most likely why I am making an effort in order to comment. I do not make it a regular habit of doing that. Secondly, even though I can notice the jumps in reasoning you make, I am not convinced of how you appear to unite your ideas which make the final result. For right now I shall subscribe to your point however trust in the future you connect the facts much better.”

B-, just for effort? Ouch. However, considering this comment was placed on one of Her Royal Highness’ letters to her loyal subjects, I’ll leave it up to the monarchy to address its particular feedback.

“It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d definitely donate to this superb blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this website with my Facebook group. Talk soon!”

Actually, I do have a donate button, I’m glad you mentioned it. It’s at the bottom of my About me page. It’s been there for years, though I don’t make a big deal about it, so completely understand why you missed it. However, now that you know about it, feel free to click on it and spot me cup of coffee. Talk soon!

And then there was this…

“Hey, how’s it going?”

I like how this one starts out. It’s like we know each other or something. But then things take a turn. (This is why I moderate comments)

“The power that runs the world wants to put a RFID microchip in our body making us total slaves to them. This chip matches perfectly with the Mark of the Beast in the Bible, more specifically in Revelation 13:16-18:

“He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666.”

It keeps going.

“Referring to the last days, this could only be speaking of a cashless society, which we have yet to see, but are heading towards. Otherwise, we could still buy or sell without the mark amongst others if physical money was still currency. This Mark couldn’t be spiritual because the word references two different physical locations. If it was spiritual it would just say in the forehead. RFID microchip implant technology will be the future of a one world cashless society containing digital currency. It will be implanted in the right-hand or the forehead, and we cannot buy or sell without it! We must grow strong in Jesus. AT ALL COSTS, DO NOT TAKE IT!

“Then a third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, “If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand, he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out full strength into the cup of His indignation. He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the beast and his image, and whoever receives the mark of his name” (Revelation 14:9-11).”

Ummmm… okay…

“If you haven’t already, it is time to seek God with all your heart. Jesus loves you more than you could imagine. He wants to have a relationship with you and redeem you from your sins. Turn to Him and repent while there is still hope! God bless!”

Shew. That’s a relief. Here I was starting to worry.

So, apparently, the end is nigh. Good thing I’ve already made peace with our soon to be robotic overloads, however, this is yet another reason my friend needs to get off her sick-bed sooner rather than later. Please get better! We’re running out of time.