Tag: positive thinking

Oh the joys of the 3AM wake up call

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it
The Bat-Signal as seen at the end of Batman
When does Batman/Bruce Wayne sleep between business and saving the day/night? I’ve often wondered. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It was three AM Sunday morning. More accurately 3:27. I know this because we have one of those clocks that project the time onto the ceiling like some sort of sadistic batman call sign. (In the wee hours of the morning, I tend to forget our rationale for buying it.) I could hear our toddler crying in his room. I closed my eyes, hoping in vain that he would settle himself down. If anything it increased in pitch and volume. To my side, I could hear the rhythmic breathing of my hubby still enjoying deep sleep. The toddler’s call wasn’t quite loud enough to rouse him – yet. Groan. It was up to me. Cursed mom ears, with their supersonic hearing, I thought to myself for the millionth time.

I stumbled down our hallway to the little guy’s room unwilling to turn on a light to help along the way. Opening the door, my son emitted one last loud cry before noticing that help had arrived. I’m not sure exactly what might have caused my son to wake up. Perhaps he had a nightmare, or maybe it was just the sound of the heat turning on that startled him. Who really knows what two-year-olds think about at night. The cause really didn’t matter. He was up and needed mom. I’m a fan of George R.R. Martin’s Game of Throne Series. The line, “for the night is dark and full of terrors” came to mind, as I picked him up and held him close.

Even though I was there he still he continued to whimper. I asked him what he needed, only to hear pitiful sounds in reply. A change of strategy was required. “Use your words,” I told him.

“I wan Monkey Man,” he answered (his reigning favorite toy). Of course he did. Sigh. Monkey Man is a small, flat, toy that is always hiding itself away. Why couldn’t my son have an obsession with a large, glow in the dark, GPS enabled toy that I could tether to the bed? Something woke him up and now he couldn’t find his friend. It was a catastrophe!

I told him that I would find it as I tucked him back into his bed. He looked up at me with a smile as I searched around the bedding, confident that all would be made right soon.

I located the little guy wedged between two other stuffed animals at the foot of the bed and handed it back to him. My toddler clutched his toy, snuggling next to with a sleepy grin as if he hadn’t just been wide awake and crying his eyes out five minutes before. All was once again right in toddlerland. I closed the door and tip toed back to my room where I proceeded to lie awake for the next twenty minutes.

There are many things that can keep me up at night. What if I am on the wrong track, what if I fail, what if something goes terribly, terribly wrong? How nice would it be if all my fears and doubts could be as easily silenced as my son’s. On those nights when I lie awake in a panic, does my mom still wake up wondering why her ears are tingling?

Of course none of that matters to the little boy down the hall. He doesn’t care that about what I do or don’t do well. All he cares about is that there is someone who will hold him tight when he’s afraid and help make everything right, and he adores me for it. It gives me a warm feeling that is almost worth the 3AM wake up call. Almost.

My boys will be grown and on their own in what will seem like a blink of the eye. I’ll soon know first hand whether or not mom ears ever lose their acute sense of hearing. If fears seem more terrible at night, at least I can take comfort knowing that as time flies by, dawn will arrive that much sooner, and with it, delicious coffee.

The following is the author's description of t...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Excuse me?

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it
Pinterest fail truck cake
One of the many reasons I am not followed on Pinterest

It was my 6yo’s birthday weekend extravaganza. We threw him a party with his friends, 14 kids in total, followed by a slumber party with one of his cousins, a bonfire the next evening, and a visit by his grandparents on Sunday. By the time the various parties ended, I was exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to sit back with a glass of wine or three. If I chose not to write the following Monday, I think many would agree that I had a pretty good reason to take a day off.

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” – Jim Rohn

Instead, I am writing. On my About page, I have stated that I post on Mondays and Thursdays. I’ve made a promise. I could try to pretend that no one has read those words, but my stat reports show otherwise. Would the world come crashing down if I broke this little promise? Hardly, but I’d have to live with the knowledge that I had allowed myself to slip. What would I do the next time life gets in my way? What if one missed day becomes two, or a missed week becomes a missed month. Suddenly I am out of the game before I ever had a chance to get started.

“The price of discipline is always less than the pain of regret.” – Nido Qubein

I received confirmation this week that my request to terminate my agreement with my former publishing channel has been processed. That’s it. I am officially on my own. Now is not the time to give into excuses. No, now is the time to buckle down and find a way to push forward.

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson

Besides, it could always be worse. The NaNoWriMo challenge is underway. Participating writers, try to write a novel consisting of a minimum of 50k words in 30 days. I’m in no way shape or form participating. While participants are toiling away in their creative sanctuaries, hoping that a loved one might occasionally check their vital signs and/or throw them a cookie, I’ve been fortunate enough to party with my favorite people and gorge on pizza and cake.

“There’s always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you’re not one of your creditors.” – Author unknown

It dawned on me as I thought of those struggling writers that I don’t need to make excuses. I’ve not promised anything I can’t deliver. I’ve promised to post on Mondays and Thursdays, but I never promised a specific word count goal. I may still slip one day, but that day is not today. I may have lost some sleep this weekend, but I have yet to lose my determination to succeed.

 

Wake up to a new and improved you

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

The sun had set Tuesday evening and I informed my son that it once again time for him to go to bed. Normally he moans and groans. “I’m not tired!” he’ll complain. “Five more minutes!” or “I just want to finish this show!” He doesn’t realize that the more he whines, the more convinced I am that bedtime has arrived. But Tuesday was complaint free – he was eager to go to bed.

Of course even though he wasn’t fighting me, we still weren’t completely able to take the express route to his bedroom. Instead we had to stop at each and every room of our house (excepting his brother’s because no one disturbs toddlerland after lights out.) At each stop, he would look into the room and say, “Goodbye [insert room name]. You are never going to see this five-year-old again.”

A wee bit melodramatic? Maybe. The ultimate bedtime manipulation? Perhaps, but he was just telling the room the truth. Upon Wednesday morning, the person emerging from his bedroom would be six.

I had to envy him a little. In his mind he was going to go to sleep a child, but would transform overnight into a more mature and capable version of himself. Someone who magically would now be able to handle more responsibility than ever before. Someone who would be instantly wiser. Kiddo 6.0 – now with even more confidence!

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all wake up one morning and suddenly be better than the person we were the night before?

A couple of days ago, I came across an article on the most viewed TED talks of all time, one of which was by Shawn Achor on the happy secret to better work. I’d seen it before, but it has an intriguing message at its core, and is entertaining enough to watch again. So I did.

“See what we’re finding is it’s not necessarily the reality that shapes us, but the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. And if we can change the lens, not only can we change your happiness, we can change every single educational and business outcome at the same time.”

In his presentation, he argues that sustained happiness is not achieved by success. Instead it is happiness that creates success. So just be happy.

He makes it sound so easy. A kid can be happy for no other reason than he or she was named line leader for the day, but it can be difficult to remember how to appreciate the small joys once you’ve fallen out of the habit. Difficult, but if Shawn Achor’s stats are accurate, worth the effort.

Some of the most common tips for how to gain sustained happiness and self-confidence are to act positively and dream big. Considering a good night’s sleep directly correlates with my ability to do both of these things, my son’s way of thinking might not be that far off. Maybe I do just need to worry less about success and sleep more. Even if I don’t wake to overnight millions, at least I am better rested.

So success –  instead of chasing you, I’m going to try snuggling under the covers and appreciating where I am. When you are ready, you’ll know where to find me.

A foolish man seeks happiness
click on images for attribution

Practice make permanent

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

A few years ago, my mom gave my eldest son a pair of training roller skates. My son is a fan of instant gratification. When he put the skates on and immediately lost his footing, he grew frustrated and lost interest in learning the new skill. The skates were placed on a shelf in our garage.

Ara hybrid on roller skates at Paphos Bird Park
Skating: So easy???

After some time passed. I would see the skates and ask him if he would be willing to try it again. To give my son credit, he would go along with my suggestion, but then would fall down and rapidly lose interest once again. Finally one day he seemed to get the hang of the process. Sort of. He was able to stay up on his feet, but instead of rolling from point A to point B he would pick up his foot and walk there. It rather defeated the purpose and was a little frustrating to watch.

My husband and I had the brilliant idea that I should strap on my own skates and show him how it is done. The house I had grown up in had been on a cul-de-sac, a round, closed no-through road, which didn’t see a ton of traffic. This gave the neighborhood kids a perfect place to go for any number of outdoor games and activities. At times, it was like our own personal skating rink. I might not have been good enough to compete in something like roller derby, but I was pretty confident on wheels throughout my childhood and teenage years. I ran to pull my skates out of our closet.

As I strapped my feet into my roller blades, it occurred to me that I hadn’t dusted off my skates in several years. My legs wobbled as I stood up. How in the world did I used to do this? The slight incline of my driveway was suddenly extremely intimidating. I heard my husband tell our son, “now look how mommy does it.” Can you say performance anxiety? All I needed was to fall down and crack my head open. We’d never get kiddo to try something new ever again.

I made it down the driveway through a combination of slaloming and walking on the grass. Graceful, I was not. I had wanted to teach my son my skate moves. Instead I taught him that grown-ups need practice sometimes too, even on skills we think we have long since mastered.

Practice Motivation DailyI do not write about topics like positive thinking because I am a Pollyanna, an eternal optimist. I do not see rainbows with every rainstorm. I succumb to pessimism now and then just like everyone else. But I have chosen to post uplifting thoughts because this is how I practice my own internal motivation.

I am reminded of the advice: do not practice until you get it right, practice until you can’t get it wrong. Self-motivation is one skill I may never master, and I am okay with that, but everyday is an opportunity to practice.

 

What is bad news today might just be the best news tomorrow

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

When my husband I decided to purchase our house, our lives were quite different from what they are today. I was only starting out in my career, he hadn’t yet caught the entrepreneurial bug and our only child was of the furry four-footed variety. At the time we enjoyed movies played at wall shaking volumes, hosting get togethers, playing pool, and brewing our own beer. Ah, the good old days…

Cover
Cover (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

All we wanted was a house located half way between our places of employment with grass for the dog to run on, an open floor plan for entertaining, and a large square room in which we could optimize our surround sound. I preferred an established neighborhood setting as that is what I had grown up in, but something built within the last fifty years. My husband had a few other items on checklist, but nothing uncommon. Our wish list for our first place wasn’t too demanding. Or so we thought.

After touring dozens of homes, I was thrilled when we found a place that met all of my criteria. I wanted to make the offer on the spot. Sure, there were a few things that I would like to alter, but overall it was a great space. Only it wasn’t a great space for both of us. My husband preferred the house next door.

I was shocked. In my opinion, we would need to gut the entire second story in order to make that space work. Why go through the trouble, when my pick had better bones? His answer? He couldn’t stand the kitchen. Okay he had a point. The kitchen in my pick was pretty awkward, but slap on a new counter-top, re-finish a few cabinets, and presto! Problem solved! Oh the simplicity of living with a dual income and no kids.

I might have eventually worn him down, made him compromise his wish list, but then we learned that there was another offer on the table. We decided not to enter into a bidding war on a property that wasn’t perfect for us both. We didn’t want to be forced to pay more when one of us would be reminded that they settled each time they looked out of the window. We chose to walk away from both properties. It was our choice, but I was thoroughly disappointed and more than a little frustrated.

Several tours later, we found another property that met much of our criteria to the delight of our Realtor. The kitchen was still less than ideal, there was no clear home theater room, and the location was skewed in the hubby’s favor. We might have been exhausted from endless shopping, but decided we could make it work. At least for a few years.

Missing out on the first house was the best bad news I’ve ever gotten.

The house we chose sits surrounded by some of the best neighbors a person could wish for. Some have sons and daughters similar to my children in age and temperament.  I get to sit back as the pack runs between yards. I know that as long as I keep a watchful eye out for their offspring, my neighbors will return the favor. Others have teenagers eager to earn babysitting or yard keeping dollars. We gleefully contribute to their causes. I am, after all, a supporter of tomorrow’s entrepreneur, especially when their efforts give me more free time.

Thinking of where I am now versus where I thought I should be, I am reminded of lyrics by the Rolling Stones:

You can’t always get what you want

But if you try sometime you find

You get what you need

I was saddened when we were forced to walk away from that first house. I thought I was going to have settle for a paltry runner-up. I worried the loss would leave me unsatisfied for years to come, yearning for the one that got away. Only now, watching my children play and seeing the joy on their faces, can I look back and see that what I interpreted as bad luck at the time, was actually completely its opposite. We might not have gotten what we originally wanted, but we made the best of what came our way afterwards. As a result, we found what we truly needed.

 

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