Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Harder_Better_Faster_Stronger_by_momentscomic

As I picked up my toddler from day care, his teacher approached me positively beaming. “He attempted to climb out of his bed today at nap time,” she explained with a big grin. Though he sleeps in a big boy bed at home, his bed at day care is one of those portable cribs. To my eyes, there is a fairly significant drop from the railing to the floor below. For many care givers, reporting that a child in their care is putting themselves into a potentially harmful situation isn’t something to be excited about. At least it isn’t something to be positively excited about.

But my little lord tyrant has always had a way of redefining expectations.

In an earlier post, I wrote about how my son has hypermobility and how difficult it was for him to catch up to his peers in terms of motor skills. If that challenge hadn’t been bad enough, according to his last several check-ups, it is likely he’ll inherit his height from my side of the gene pool. Poor thing. My height hasn’t been considered average since before the 1900s. The crib wall comes up to his shoulders. Therefore if he is able to successful pull his entire body weight over that height it is an impressive achievement, even if earns a few new bruises as a trophy.

We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Better...stronger...faster.
We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Better…stronger…faster.

The conversation reminded me about the multiple weeks we spent with the physical therapist. Once he achieved walking, each follow up appointment started by placing him on a baby treadmill. His therapist explained to me that in order to build up muscle mass in his legs, he had to first tire them out. He had to make his muscles strain and suffer in order to build up their strength. The phrase no pain, no gain, came to mind.

Pain is a funny thing. It warns us when there is something the matter so that changes can be made before more permanent damage is done. Without the sensation of pain, you might not realize that you need to remove your hand from a hot pan on the stove. If we are lucky, an unexplained pain can send us to the doctor before a tumor becomes un-treatable. While pain is something most of us would like to avoid, it is a necessary component to continued health.

Pain can also be the world’s best teacher. If we never experienced hurt, and life’s other lows, we would never truly be able to fully appreciate their opposites. If we never pushed ourselves to our limits, we would never fully learn the extent of our capabilities.

I’ve begun work on my third novel. With each project the task has become increasingly more difficult. I am in the process of making a few edits to An Uncertain Faith, and plan to be releasing a new edition in the coming months. Additionally I still have to finalize the cover design for the second project and begin rolling out its release. Finding the time to fit in the writing of a third novel, a sequel, is no easy feat.

But in someways writing the third is significantly easier than writing my first two books. It is a sequel. I know these characters and their setting. I know what it takes to pull their story from my mind and put it to paper. I can plan my schedule accordingly and have given myself a much longer runway. I may at times feel like I am straining myself, trying to do so much, but it’s made my determination to succeed that much stronger.

If I am asking my toddler continue to push himself, the least I can do is to do the same.

Inspiration under September’s sun

Keep your face to the sunshineThe close of August may mean the unofficial end of summer, but in my area it also means the beginning of the collegiate football season, or gridiron as it is known in much of the rest of the world. I never moved far after graduating from college, allowing me the opportunity to attend a number of games each season. Occasionally the boys come along too, at least once per season. There are a number of rival schools in the area, and we don’t want to risk that they might actually favor one of the alternatives when it is time to apply to college. Indoctrination starts early.

The problem with the season opener is that as much as we complain about summer being over, the mercury tells a different story. Between the sun and the stands packed so tightly, sardine cans look spacious by comparison, it can get extremely hot. This weekend’s game was to be played at twelve thirty on a 90+ degree day (32+C). It was going to be a scorcher.

After finding our seats, I noticed that my son was in need of some additional sunscreen. Rummaging through my bag, I found a left over tube. It was nearly empty, but spending the next several hours uncovered was not an option. I twisted and folded that tube, gratefully scrapping away even the smallest drop until I was able to cover the majority of his exposed skin. I didn’t have as much as I would have liked, but it would have to be enough to get us through the day unburnt.

Inspiration can sometimes be like a tube of sunscreen. Sometimes the tube is brand new, and will flow by itself as soon as the cap comes off. Those are the days I risk being too verbose. I have to force myself to hold back, saving some of those ideas for another day. Other days, the tube is near empty, but I twist it and bend it making use of whatever I can find. Why? Because I want to spend my time in the sunlight, but my skin is less forgiving now.

When you run out of sunscreen, all you have to do is run down to the local corner store and pick up a new bottle. Is finding inspiration or coming up with the next big idea just as easy? I like to think so. Yes, I’ve experienced writer’s block more often than I’d like, but a trip to the store can be just as easily delayed by a lack of gas in the tank.

I’ve been asked how I come up with ideas for what I am going to write about. First, I read. I read a lot. I read books, other blogs, news stories, and message boards. Many times I am participating in a conversation, except the other party doesn’t always realize we are communicating. Other times, I go for a walk. Nature abhors a vacuum. If I clear my mind long enough, something is bound to fill it. Finally I just start typing. I’ve surprised myself more than once.

The next great idea could be just around the corner, you just have to open your eyes wide enough to recognize what it is you are looking for.

Working on the follow up project

When my eldest son was still in swaddling blankets I used to rock with him close. I thought a second child could never be as special to me as my first. As my son grew into a little boy, this belief was only strengthened. He was quiet, polite, eager to please, and as helpful as anyone could expect a toddler to be. At the time, I had no interest in adding another child to our family. I believed I had hit the child temperament jackpot. Since cloning wasn’t really an option, I worried about having another. I just couldn’t help worrying that I would subconsciously compare my second to my first and that just wouldn’t be fair to him or her.

But two-year olds are demanding, and mine was no exception. My son was incredibly shy around anyone who wasn’t a close associate, almost to the point of paralysis. Play dates weren’t worth the hassle of coordinating. All I wanted to do after a long day at work was sit down on the couch for a few minutes, but he wouldn’t have it. After playing the same game for the hundredth time, I caught myself thinking how nice it would be if he had a friend to play with. Someone he’d feel comfortable around. Someone who would match him in energy. We didn’t decide to have another kid just to provide our eldest with a diversion. There were a number of other factors that influenced our decision over the next several months, but this thought was a starting point.

My second son came into this world roaring. While they resemble each other physically (at least in coloring), my boys have vastly different personalities. I should never have worried. Comparisons between the two of them are like comparing a dog to a cat. For example, my youngest rarely cares about your approval. No, in his opinion, it is more important to him that he approve you. He’ll follow the rules if they suit him, ignore them entirely if they don’t. He has a stubborn streak that could almost be seen from space. But he was born knowing how to charm a room. He’s quick to smile, fills the house with comfortable chatter, and loves to cuddle.  My boys couldn’t be more different, and yet I love them both the same.

To make it as an indie writer, I’ve been told that you must have more than a couple of books to your name, ideally at least five. Therefore I needed to expand my family of work too. Unfortunately writing is a long, drawn out process. Especially when you are trying to squeeze it in between a full-time job and parenting. Publishing the work takes even more time. My first novel had barely started seeing its first sales when I decided I needed to start writing a second.

I didn’t know how well An Uncertain Faith would be received at the time it launched. Although I’ve since read a number of opinions advocating writing sequels as means of developing your writing platform, I chose to work on something different. I didn’t want to spend precious time on a sequel until I knew it had an audience. In the end, not only is the resulting story different from my first, it isn’t even in the same genre. I didn’t do this out of some hidden dislike of my first experience. It just was the story that came into being.

I was several chapters in before I read opinions suggesting that genre hopping might also be a mistake. By then I was too committed to my project to turn back. I’ve sent my second manuscript off to be professionally edited. With any luck title reveal, cover reveal, advance reviews, and book launch excitement may soon follow. ‘Soon’ will depend on publishing schedules and deals I am and am not willing to make. I hope that when it does make its way to bookshelves or onto e-readers you will find a passing resemblance between the two stories at least in style and will enjoy them as much as I have.

I may soon find out whether or not if I can make it in more than one genre. Until then, it is time to get started work on project number three.


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Once stung, twice equipped with repellent

Meet Mr. Yellow Jacket (129 of 365) (EXPLORED!)
Meet Mr. Yellow Jacket (129 of 365) (EXPLORED!) (Photo credit: rimblas)

When I was a teenager, I was attacked by a swarm of ground hornets while hiking with a group of friends. I never even saw their nest. Someone ahead of me must have inadvertently stepped where he or she shouldn’t have and by the time they had flown to the surface in a rage I was the closest target.

A very short time later, areas of my body had swollen up like baseballs. I found my way on an express route to the emergency room.

I have a healthy respect for stinging insects of all kinds. I don’t squish them just for the crime of being bugs. I understand that the outdoors is their world. I try to remain calm and motionless when they are near, or avoid them altogether if I see them in the distance. I don’t bother them if they don’t bother me.

But when they try to build a nest in my porch, or more recently, move in underneath my children’s sandbox, I have to do something about it. I am no longer passive or kind. I don’t want to find out the hard way that my allergy has been passed on to my children. Or worse, that their reaction might be more than moderate.

At that point I have to make it clear to those insects that their continued presence will not be tolerated. Those that survive the lesson should move on to more welcoming ground.

“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.” – Al Capone.

I self published my first novel, and have been debating whether or not this was a path I would like to take again for my second. I’ve been reading about how little new authors can expect from large publishers and how aspiring authors are now asked to provide some potential publishers with a business plan and marketing plan in addition to the manuscript. I recently read an article entitled Publishing 3.0 detailing the rise of the authorpreneur. While the term authorpreneur may sound like one of those celebrity mash-up names, I find that it is completely appropriate in this instance. To be a successful self published or indie author, you do have to have an understanding as to what it takes to be an entrepreneur.

Like writing professionally, entrepreneurship is hard work. It too requires sacrifice and long hours, but with different results. Purchase orders are rarely aesthetically pleasing. But for an entrepreneur that first order is a work of art, one as beautiful to behold as a published novel with its glossy cover. It gets framed and permanently mounted on the wall for all the world to see.

Entrepreneurship can be at times a wonderful thing. There is something deeply satisfying about watching the business that you helped start grow and thrive. Whether you are your only employee or have a larger staff, it is both rewarding and terrifying to know that their ability to care for their families is because of what you’ve put in place.

But unfortunately, an entrepreneur is still not entirely in control of his/her own destiny. There are always going to be people out there who look upon your success with envy. They either want what you have, or are afraid that you have the ability to take something away from them. They will attack in ways you never saw coming, especially if they believe you aren’t paying attention.

During this time you have to keep in mind that these attacks are actually compliments. They are a testament to your ability and your achievements. They are recognition that what you have done has been noticed. You have to be the bigger person. Stay true to your values and out of their domain. Walk away if you can. Ignore them if you can’t.

That is until you have been stung one too many times and they mistake your kindness as weakness, your willingness to turn the other cheek as acceptance, and they threaten your baby’s life.

“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”
― Patrick RothfussThe Wise Man’s Fear

At that point, let them keep their compliments. It is time to hire the exterminator and bring out the bug spray.

What’s in your garden?

Garden "butchart gardens", Vancouver...
Definitely not my garden. Garden “butchart gardens”, Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When my husband and I decided to start landscaping our yard, we decided that we wanted to include a garden in our plans. I thought to myself how nice it would be to have rows of flower beds. My husband, having grown up in a more rural setting, wanted to plant things like corn and other vegetables.

We wanted the same thing in theory, but had completely different ideas as to how to achieve it. It was one of those times requiring compromise. He was willing to plant things other than corn, but every plant we selected for the garden had to serve a purpose beyond looking pretty.

Blackberry-flower
Blackberry-flower (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We selected strawberries, blackberries, grapes, tomatoes, peppers, squash, green beans, some herbs, and others. Almost all of these flower before transforming. Those that don’t at least smell wonderful before being chopped up or dried for recipes. Everything is edible.

I still love viewing other people’s flower gardens. But everything we chose had to add something to our lives we both valued. As a result, our garden feeds our stomachs as well as our senses.

One of the challenges I have faced since I began writing has been ensuring the words I select for inclusion serve a purpose beyond looking pretty. For example, flowery language is fine, but it must bear fruit. If it doesn’t, then I have to cut it out like a garden weed.

It’s a skill I am still working to improve, both in my novels as well as on my blog. This article used to be twice as long, but the only value those extra words added was as an increase to my word count.

It is the same at the day job. If the assignment or opportunity doesn’t create a value for me or the organization exceeding the resource drain then I have to ask if it should be pursued. You can still be a team player even if you turn a task down now and then. Not all business opportunities are created equal either.

Yes, you can eat dandelions if you are starving, but most people would classify those as weeds. Left unchecked, weeds will choke out better crops or rob those crops of nutrients. They will grow and spread even if you ignore them. Why help them do their damage by spreading nitrogen or other fertilizer on them?  The trick is recognizing the weeds for what they are before they have taken root.