Author: Allie P.

Children in the corn

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

Last week I was somehow talked into helping to chaperon my kindergartener’s class trip to a nearby farm. We were asked to drive separately to the farm so that all the children could ride together on a bus and there just wasn’t enough room for the adults. As the bus arrived, their teachers handed each of us an agenda and our assigned charges. Then without much preamble the bus doors re-opened and a flood of five and six year-olds came charging towards us, each dressed in a matching shirt for easier identification.

Luckily there were enough volunteers so that no adult was outnumbered by more than two. I was assigned to watch my son as well as another boy. I knelt down beside the other boy and looked him straight in the eye. I told him we were going to be buddies for they day. I made sure he would be able to recognize my face as I memorized his. I was determined that the boy’s parents would not have any reason to complain about my care. Satisfied that he understood, the three of us went hand in hand into the farm. We took a hayride together, had lunch, climbed on hay bales, and fed goats. Then the children found the corn maze.


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True to our agreement, my charge remained by my side. But then I looked around and realized that my son was gone, lost somewhere in the rows of corn. I had just assumed he would stay near me, but I had underestimated the call of the maze. I saw a flash of a blue shirt and a blonde head run by. We immediately chased after the child only to discover that it was a little girl and not my son. We went back the way we came shouting my son’s name. He magically appeared a minute or two later, skipping along the path, completely unaware that he had just freaked his mom out.

I would hope that when it is the parents of the other little boy’s turn to chaperon they take their responsibility just as seriously as I did. However it does goes to show you that when you focus all your attention on what other people think, what matters most to other people, you risk losing sight of what matters most to you.

 

I met someone

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

One of the best non-monetary benefits offered by my day job is the ability to work from home on occasion. I don’t get to take advantage of the benefit as much as I might like as I frequently have long meeting days. But when I do, it is wonderful. Every now and then I will start my work from home days with a run, smug with the knowledge that I am getting fresh air and exercise during a time I would normally be stuck in traffic. But even on the days I am lazy, I still can sit down at the desk more relaxed than on a non-telecommute day.

That is until I attempt to fire up the computer and log in.

The trouble is my hubby, the entrepreneur, also works from home from time to time and likes to mess with my settings. I prefer easy to find folders on my desktop. He prefers a minimalist approach and has been known to move my folders without first asking permission. Sometimes he has introduced new equipment that makes his job easier, but makes mine exponentially harder. It doesn’t seem to matter if we keep to separate computers, something he does on his will inevitability effect mine. If my plans don’t pan out, I could probably get a job in the IT field based on the amount of times I’ve had to diagnose and correct a network error or conduct a system restore.

He can be frustratingly inconsiderate at times, and now I need to admit I’ve met someone.

When I was in college, all I was looking in a boyfriend was someone witty. Someone with my same dry humor. Someone that could hold his own in a debate, but someone who wouldn’t overpower you with his opinions. He had to be fun to be around, but serious when it came to work or school. Someone who I wouldn’t mind introducing to my friends. Someone who had a car. Yes – I freely admit I was shallow like that. I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship and my college campus was large. I met a nice guy and started dating him.

When I graduated, the economy tanked. It wasn’t easy for a person with my limited resume to get an interview, much less a job. Rent and other bills were still due, and it was easy to become overwhelmed. Now I needed someone who could be supportive and willing to roll up his own sleeves. Someone who would recognize the sacrifices I was willing to make. Someone who was willing to make just as many if not more. Someone who I wouldn’t mind introducing to my family. I met a dependable guy and married him.

While I lay in the delivery room, sure that I’d die in agony from childbirth complications, I screamed, cried, and acted anything but ladylike. I wanted the source of my condition to be far, far away, and yet was terrified that he’d leave my side for a second. I never needed to worry. He was just as eager to be introduced to our sons as I was. I met a guy who would become a great father.

When the time came to end our dog’s (our 1st kid of the furry kind’s) suffering, my hubby was there with me. Without him I would have crumpled into a heap of tears, confusing our dog’s last moments. He held my hand as we said goodbye. I met a caring guy who would help me find the strength to be compassionate.

When I decided to start writing, he was my first reader. You should never forget to be grateful to those who helped you get your start. While I normally write for an audience of other writers, entrepreneurs, working parents, and friends, this post is for that guy I met so many years ago.

You’ve made me laugh more than you ever made me cry. You bring me balance. You continue to inspire me to chase my dreams with optimism and determination. But you still drive me crazy when you mess with my stuff. Stop it. I am trying to work here.

Happy Anniversary.

I’m still in the game

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

 

NCSU versus Florida State
My ear made its way onto National Television. I’m a star!

It was the fourth and final quarter. The end zone was only a few yards away, and there was still a chance to retake the lead against the number one rated team in the nation. The fans were screaming as if their will could somehow help carry the play. All the quarterback had to do was find a way through the pain a little while longer.

It this scene had played out in a sports movie, my team would have succeeded. Instead, our quarterback’s muscles cramped up, sending him to the ground. He was spent. The entire team was. Though the team tried its best, the clock ran out, giving us our first (and unfortunately not last) loss  of the season.

Sometimes wanting something isn’t enough. Sometimes the opposition prevails.

As we waited among the line of cars departing the stadium, we listened to the head coach’s post game interview. He said the things I’ve grown to expect from any coach in a similar situation. The team tried its best, but had found themselves outmatched. The game was over, and there was nothing left to do but review the tapes and start planning for the next week’s game. They might have lost the game, but they weren’t defeated.

Success is going from failure to failureAt the office, my boss will often talk about how you don’t truly know the value of a project or a person (customer or supplier) until the relationship has been tested. It is easy to retain your enthusiasm when everything is going well. It’s when things go badly that you truly realize how committed you are to a relationship, a project, a company, or a dream.

Edison discovered 10,000 ways not to make a light bulb. Steve Jobs was fired from Apple. Henry Ford had two failed automotive companies on his resume before launching the model T.

A set back, even a major one, isn’t a failure until you stop trying. Instead it may just be a way of the universe telling to try a slightly different tactic before returning to the field. As I push forward with re-writes and modifications to my marketing plan, I am reminded that it is the rare individual who gets everything right on the first try.

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It would be nice if I had found my sea legs

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it, Personal Favorites
Sunset at Lake Norman
Red skies at night, sailors delight. Red skies at morning, sailors take warning

Growing up, my dad would occasionally take us out sailing on a nearby lake. There were days the water was as still as glass and the wind refused to fill the sails. On those days we would bake above deck while the boat inched along at a snail’s pace. We could cool off by hopping in the water, but for the most part, those trips were rather boring. We could have swum just as easily at the shore. Other days, the wind would gust. The boat would heave up and down as well as from side to side. On those days, I would worry that we might capsize at any moment, or that I might lose my lunch.

I was taught to look out at the horizon as a way to combat seasickness.

Seasickness is caused by your brain not being able to find equilibrium due to the motion of the vessel. However as much as you rock from side to side, the horizon remains flat and motionless. It provides your brain with a mental anchor point. By keeping your eyes focused on the distance your body is able to subconsciously anticipate where you will be as the boat moves through the water. This can be the difference between enjoying the ride and turning a lovely shade of green.

Several years ago, I heard a song by a band called the Immaculate Machine entitled “C’mon Sea Legs.” The singer is basically giving himself a pep talk throughout the entire song, begging his legs to adjust to the sway of the boat. I particularly like the refrain:

C’mon sea legs, pull yourself together
you’re gonna have to learn to like the rockin of waves
whatever, c’mon now it’s not meant to be easy
but you’re not gonna spend your life bein’ sick over the side

The past week, I’ve experienced a number of up and downs. I was one of several presenters asked to speak in front of eighty people who had come from various points around the globe. Leading up to the event my stomach twisted. I forgot several lines from my prepared script, but what I did remember hit home. I ended my speech to applause, and several attendees approached me later with their compliments on a job well done.

Then I received my manuscript back from my editor. I wanted his honest assessment, and I got it. To say he thinks it needs some more work is an understatement. Based on his recommendations, I am going to have to re-write a significant portion of it, an undertaking that is daunting. A part of me wants to bury the entire manuscript in a drawer and move on to a new idea. A part of me wants to give up altogether.

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations. — Charles Swindoll

I have to remember that calm seas are boring, and destinations don’t get any closer without a little wind to help push along the way.

I have to stay above deck and keep my eyes on the horizon. I am going have learn to like the rockin of the waves. I have to accept the lows as well as the highs in pursuit of my dream.

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Take a step back to better leap forward

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it
America's Worst Driver
Open auditions every rainy day!

Yesterday we were hit with heavy rains during the evening commute. Around here, rain like that somehow seems to always cause the driving public along my commute to forget basic driving rules. Thanks to the traffic, I was running several minutes late when I pulled into my first stop and collected kiddo number one. By the time I arrived at the toddler’s day care I was even later.

We had barely entered the toddler’s room when kiddo announced that he was hungry. Loudly. I must not have acknowledged his pronouncement to his satisfaction, as he repeated this breaking news story. Not to be outdone, his brother added his voice to the mix. Time was officially not on my side.

Somehow I was able to calm the boys. I was likely even more anxious to get home than the boys were. The hunger beast which had replaced kiddo number one was only going to be put off for so long. As we made our way to the car, I couldn’t help but notice that a truck had parked beside my car while we had been inside, and that it was taking up more than its fair share of the roadway.

As I started to back out of my spot, I noticed that there was no clearance between me and the truck. I was trapped in my parking space. The rain was still coming down in buckets. The driver was nowhere to be seen. My boys were still hungry. I suppose I could have taken my chances with the boys. I could have turned the car off, hoping the truck’s driver would soon re-emerge. A person parking that badly surely couldn’t be planning to stay long. I could have stormed back inside demanding that its owner drop whatever he or she was doing to move the truck now, but that would have meant dragging the boys along with me too. Shudder.

Instead I shifted my gears and drove forward. I adjusted my steering wheel, and backed up again. I repeated these steps two or three more times. Finally, I managed to create enough of a gap between our vehicles to continue out of the parking spot without losing my side mirror. Freed we made our way home where the hubby met us with dinner preparations already in progress.

Goals are achieved by taking baby steps. However the path you take to get there is rarely straight and clear. Sometimes those baby steps have to be taken in the opposite direction. While it may feel like a set back, these steps are occasionally necessary to ensure we have enough space to make a course correction. Those small set backs, while frustrating, and time-consuming, might be all that prevents a larger, more serious delay such as a collision with a ill-parked truck.

Sometimes a step back is the only way to leap forward.

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