Author: Allie P.

Practice make permanent

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

A few years ago, my mom gave my eldest son a pair of training roller skates. My son is a fan of instant gratification. When he put the skates on and immediately lost his footing, he grew frustrated and lost interest in learning the new skill. The skates were placed on a shelf in our garage.

Ara hybrid on roller skates at Paphos Bird Park
Skating: So easy???

After some time passed. I would see the skates and ask him if he would be willing to try it again. To give my son credit, he would go along with my suggestion, but then would fall down and rapidly lose interest once again. Finally one day he seemed to get the hang of the process. Sort of. He was able to stay up on his feet, but instead of rolling from point A to point B he would pick up his foot and walk there. It rather defeated the purpose and was a little frustrating to watch.

My husband and I had the brilliant idea that I should strap on my own skates and show him how it is done. The house I had grown up in had been on a cul-de-sac, a round, closed no-through road, which didn’t see a ton of traffic. This gave the neighborhood kids a perfect place to go for any number of outdoor games and activities. At times, it was like our own personal skating rink. I might not have been good enough to compete in something like roller derby, but I was pretty confident on wheels throughout my childhood and teenage years. I ran to pull my skates out of our closet.

As I strapped my feet into my roller blades, it occurred to me that I hadn’t dusted off my skates in several years. My legs wobbled as I stood up. How in the world did I used to do this? The slight incline of my driveway was suddenly extremely intimidating. I heard my husband tell our son, “now look how mommy does it.” Can you say performance anxiety? All I needed was to fall down and crack my head open. We’d never get kiddo to try something new ever again.

I made it down the driveway through a combination of slaloming and walking on the grass. Graceful, I was not. I had wanted to teach my son my skate moves. Instead I taught him that grown-ups need practice sometimes too, even on skills we think we have long since mastered.

Practice Motivation DailyI do not write about topics like positive thinking because I am a Pollyanna, an eternal optimist. I do not see rainbows with every rainstorm. I succumb to pessimism now and then just like everyone else. But I have chosen to post uplifting thoughts because this is how I practice my own internal motivation.

I am reminded of the advice: do not practice until you get it right, practice until you can’t get it wrong. Self-motivation is one skill I may never master, and I am okay with that, but everyday is an opportunity to practice.

 

How to create a dinner of champions

by Allie P., posted in General Tips and Tricks, Life as I know it, Life Hacks

I may have actually stumbled upon the secret to get my toddler to willingly eat more than mac n’ cheese and applesauce at dinner time!

My eldest son spoiled me rotten. As a baby he loved sweet peas, and as a kindergartener one of his favorite meals is chicken nuggets with a strawberries and a side salad. Yes. A side salad. And not just lettuce smeared with ranch dressing. No, he prefers a drizzle of balsamic glaze. I was therefore fully unprepared for the challenge that is my youngest son at meal times.

So sayeth the toddler

Greens need not touch his plate. In fact, go ahead and extend that to most other food groups. If the food on his plate wasn’t a complex carb – well he just wasn’t interested. We tried plane sounds. We tried rewards and other bribery such as promising deserts. He sealed his lips tighter than Fort Knox. We tried trickery. He returned the favor by hiding it all in his cheeks and spitting it out later. We told him that if he didn’t eat his dinner he would be sent to time out or even to bed. He chose time out. And I don’t just mean by continuing with attitude. I mean my toddler actually said, in clear English, with a smile on his face, “I wan time out.”

My toddler is now two and a half, which means I only have to live with the terrible twos for another few months. [Then I get the joy of the trying threes! Yippee!!!] As a result, you may believe that he will naturally become more willing to try new things as maturing. Perhaps. But perhaps he requires more incentive to change his behavior. Perhaps we all do.

Vision without execution is hallucinationI recently read a post suggesting that everyone should find themselves an accountability partner. I loved the idea and brought it up with my hubby. He and I are both idea people, and idea people tend to make terrible executors if left to their own devices. Not because they don’t want to execute on their original idea, just because there is always a nicer, shinier, new idea just waiting to be developed. I asked him if he’d be willing to start setting a personal goal each week which we’d discuss over Sunday dinner. He agreed to try.

Sunday rolled around and we started discussing what we wanted to accomplish this week. Our kindergartener caught on and wanted to come up with his own goal for the week. Excellent! We agreed that we would all take on one small bite sized goal for the week. If we were all successful at the end of the week as a family, we’d award ourselves with a single star. If we could all earn twenty stars then we’d go on a vacation. Kiddo was sold. He loves winning, no matter what the rules of the game are. Then he asked what his brother’s goal should be. We thought about and agreed that he had to try his food every night this week.

Sunday dinner went smoothly. Monday’s too. Then Tuesday night, toddler stubbornness was back in full effect. I sighed and said, well I guess we aren’t getting a star this week as I tried to figure out my next strategy. Suddenly Kiddo was by his brother’s side cheering his brother along. My toddler may enjoy tests of will against me, but adores his brother above all things and wants to be just like him. His mouth opened and in went the food. The star was saved for another day and there was much rejoicing.

Execution is made easiest when you allow your team to take ownership of the method, and the best incentives are the ones the team comes up with themselves. All the leader is supposed to do is provide a clear vision of where they want to go and then get out of the way while his or her team does what they do best in order to get there. It would seem this is just as true in the house as it is the office.

It has only been a few days, but I am optimistic that my family will be healthier and stronger, or at least better fed, as a result of this experiment. With a little determination and a lot of accountability, the seats around out dinner table on Sundays will soon be filled with champions.

Children in the corn

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

Last week I was somehow talked into helping to chaperon my kindergartener’s class trip to a nearby farm. We were asked to drive separately to the farm so that all the children could ride together on a bus and there just wasn’t enough room for the adults. As the bus arrived, their teachers handed each of us an agenda and our assigned charges. Then without much preamble the bus doors re-opened and a flood of five and six year-olds came charging towards us, each dressed in a matching shirt for easier identification.

Luckily there were enough volunteers so that no adult was outnumbered by more than two. I was assigned to watch my son as well as another boy. I knelt down beside the other boy and looked him straight in the eye. I told him we were going to be buddies for they day. I made sure he would be able to recognize my face as I memorized his. I was determined that the boy’s parents would not have any reason to complain about my care. Satisfied that he understood, the three of us went hand in hand into the farm. We took a hayride together, had lunch, climbed on hay bales, and fed goats. Then the children found the corn maze.


http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/121144397

True to our agreement, my charge remained by my side. But then I looked around and realized that my son was gone, lost somewhere in the rows of corn. I had just assumed he would stay near me, but I had underestimated the call of the maze. I saw a flash of a blue shirt and a blonde head run by. We immediately chased after the child only to discover that it was a little girl and not my son. We went back the way we came shouting my son’s name. He magically appeared a minute or two later, skipping along the path, completely unaware that he had just freaked his mom out.

I would hope that when it is the parents of the other little boy’s turn to chaperon they take their responsibility just as seriously as I did. However it does goes to show you that when you focus all your attention on what other people think, what matters most to other people, you risk losing sight of what matters most to you.

 

I met someone

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

One of the best non-monetary benefits offered by my day job is the ability to work from home on occasion. I don’t get to take advantage of the benefit as much as I might like as I frequently have long meeting days. But when I do, it is wonderful. Every now and then I will start my work from home days with a run, smug with the knowledge that I am getting fresh air and exercise during a time I would normally be stuck in traffic. But even on the days I am lazy, I still can sit down at the desk more relaxed than on a non-telecommute day.

That is until I attempt to fire up the computer and log in.

The trouble is my hubby, the entrepreneur, also works from home from time to time and likes to mess with my settings. I prefer easy to find folders on my desktop. He prefers a minimalist approach and has been known to move my folders without first asking permission. Sometimes he has introduced new equipment that makes his job easier, but makes mine exponentially harder. It doesn’t seem to matter if we keep to separate computers, something he does on his will inevitability effect mine. If my plans don’t pan out, I could probably get a job in the IT field based on the amount of times I’ve had to diagnose and correct a network error or conduct a system restore.

He can be frustratingly inconsiderate at times, and now I need to admit I’ve met someone.

When I was in college, all I was looking in a boyfriend was someone witty. Someone with my same dry humor. Someone that could hold his own in a debate, but someone who wouldn’t overpower you with his opinions. He had to be fun to be around, but serious when it came to work or school. Someone who I wouldn’t mind introducing to my friends. Someone who had a car. Yes – I freely admit I was shallow like that. I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship and my college campus was large. I met a nice guy and started dating him.

When I graduated, the economy tanked. It wasn’t easy for a person with my limited resume to get an interview, much less a job. Rent and other bills were still due, and it was easy to become overwhelmed. Now I needed someone who could be supportive and willing to roll up his own sleeves. Someone who would recognize the sacrifices I was willing to make. Someone who was willing to make just as many if not more. Someone who I wouldn’t mind introducing to my family. I met a dependable guy and married him.

While I lay in the delivery room, sure that I’d die in agony from childbirth complications, I screamed, cried, and acted anything but ladylike. I wanted the source of my condition to be far, far away, and yet was terrified that he’d leave my side for a second. I never needed to worry. He was just as eager to be introduced to our sons as I was. I met a guy who would become a great father.

When the time came to end our dog’s (our 1st kid of the furry kind’s) suffering, my hubby was there with me. Without him I would have crumpled into a heap of tears, confusing our dog’s last moments. He held my hand as we said goodbye. I met a caring guy who would help me find the strength to be compassionate.

When I decided to start writing, he was my first reader. You should never forget to be grateful to those who helped you get your start. While I normally write for an audience of other writers, entrepreneurs, working parents, and friends, this post is for that guy I met so many years ago.

You’ve made me laugh more than you ever made me cry. You bring me balance. You continue to inspire me to chase my dreams with optimism and determination. But you still drive me crazy when you mess with my stuff. Stop it. I am trying to work here.

Happy Anniversary.

I’m still in the game

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

 

NCSU versus Florida State
My ear made its way onto National Television. I’m a star!

It was the fourth and final quarter. The end zone was only a few yards away, and there was still a chance to retake the lead against the number one rated team in the nation. The fans were screaming as if their will could somehow help carry the play. All the quarterback had to do was find a way through the pain a little while longer.

It this scene had played out in a sports movie, my team would have succeeded. Instead, our quarterback’s muscles cramped up, sending him to the ground. He was spent. The entire team was. Though the team tried its best, the clock ran out, giving us our first (and unfortunately not last) loss  of the season.

Sometimes wanting something isn’t enough. Sometimes the opposition prevails.

As we waited among the line of cars departing the stadium, we listened to the head coach’s post game interview. He said the things I’ve grown to expect from any coach in a similar situation. The team tried its best, but had found themselves outmatched. The game was over, and there was nothing left to do but review the tapes and start planning for the next week’s game. They might have lost the game, but they weren’t defeated.

Success is going from failure to failureAt the office, my boss will often talk about how you don’t truly know the value of a project or a person (customer or supplier) until the relationship has been tested. It is easy to retain your enthusiasm when everything is going well. It’s when things go badly that you truly realize how committed you are to a relationship, a project, a company, or a dream.

Edison discovered 10,000 ways not to make a light bulb. Steve Jobs was fired from Apple. Henry Ford had two failed automotive companies on his resume before launching the model T.

A set back, even a major one, isn’t a failure until you stop trying. Instead it may just be a way of the universe telling to try a slightly different tactic before returning to the field. As I push forward with re-writes and modifications to my marketing plan, I am reminded that it is the rare individual who gets everything right on the first try.

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