We’re in peak busy mode status here in Pottslandia, what with the eldest trying to get his college applications in order while the hubby and I try to make sense of new acronyms like FAFSA and our youngest starts work on building his own extracurricular activity resume. However, when I learned I was one of 25 women being recognized across multiple industries for measurable influence in their fields and their commitment to lifting other women, I knew I needed to find the time to attend.
The day of the event came and the room filled up with accomplished ladies. I was already familiar with Dr. Amna Shabbir, founder of Success Curated. She’s given a TEDx Talk, which I’d much enjoyed, and has a podcast I’m excited to be a part this month. But there were a lot of new-to-me-faces as well.
For example, I met Dr. Mary Hemphill, who, in addition to a charming laugh and keen fashion sense, has managed to publish books on leadership while maintaining her coaching and speaking schedule. I also met Venus Liles, who somehow found the time to start up a dance party business targeting women who just want to dance and go to bed at a reasonable time, while also founding a law firm for startups.
I met so many others with equally impressive stories. The impact they were making was plain to see. They were movers and shakers. Entrepreneurs and professional motivators. Which led me to wonder: What had I done to merit being among a crowd like this?
Still not entirely sure, I dutifully shared the post-event write-up. I was then touched by the flurry of celebratory notes that followed. I had to remind myself that while a person may not always see the impact they make (they’re too close to the source), it is nevertheless still there. Not only that, it is often the smallest impacts that make the largest difference over time. So how does one make a positive difference in their community without burning themselves out?
Serve as a Connector
Back when I was working in more of a sales role, I learned that accepting that you might not have the best solution for everyone is not only a great way to ensure you are focusing your energy on the prospects most likely to convert into customers. This strategy also helps to build trust with the prospects you turn away. Perhaps you weren’t the right fit now, but maybe as they or their needs change in the future, you might be later.
I’ve applied the same mindset to my day-to-day. I know my limitations, be they time, skill, or experience. If I know in my heart of hearts that I’m not the right person to assist in a situation, I don’t offer more than I can comfortably do. I delegate, allowing others to shine. If I know a person who might be a better fit, I’ll offer an introduction or at least steer them in the right direction by sharing what I know, be it a blog post, a website, a news story, or a video.
Fortunately, I’ve had the opportunity to work with great people across multiple industries. A simple share or intro email takes me next to no time, and yet, when the right people match up, magic still happens for all involved—including me. I’ve had a front-row seat to new SaaS platforms and Masterclasses, which then have gone on to help countless others without me doing more than send a note along the lines of “you should check this out.”
Be Generous With Your Experience Within Reason
In the movie, The Dark Knight, the Joker says “If you are good at something, never do it for free.” This is actually solid advice if you are trying to monetize your passion. I would never advise a writer to provide copy or a designer to produce art with the only compensation being “exposure.” People have to eat. That said, I’m happy to share lessons I’ve learned the hard way. I’m not doing the work for them. I’m just pointing out where the dangers are so they can take a more informed action.
I do this because I don’t believe that we all need to learn through the same baseline of trial and error. That’s not how progress works. We wouldn’t have GPS to plan our routes today if someone hadn’t gotten so frustrated by people getting lost all the time that they invented the magnetic compass.
I am proud of the books I’ve written, but I also take deep satisfaction whenever I’ve seen an author I’ve chatted with, or beta read, earn awards or land a book deal. I love seeing my name on a book cover, but seeing my name on the acknowledgements page is certainly pretty cool too.
Plant Seeds And Foster Growth
When I was first promoted to manager, I was given the advice to immediately look for my replacement. At the time, this seemed an odd strategy. Wouldn’t this potentially put me in danger of being deemed redundant? What if my employer liked the other person more? What if they were, simply, better? Having just gained the role, the last thing I wanted to do was to give someone reason to fire me.
I gave it a try anyway. I looked for candidates who had the potential to challenge me when hiring and trained those already on my team who’ve expressed interest in how to do what I do, even if it means they might outgrow and leave us. I figured a little competition would keep me from becoming complacent in my role. Even better, if they could someday take on some of my responsibilities, I’d be freed up to take on new things too. I wasn’t setting myself up to be fired. By advocating and encouraging others, I was setting myself up for my own next big thing.
And it worked. It actually worked better than I’d anticipated. I’ve risen in the ranks more than once across multiple industries. And yes, I am proud of how high I’ve climbed on the corporate ladder, but I’m equally proud whenever I revisit my network and see how many of the people I’ve worked with have gone and done the same. Best of all, this didn’t require me to do anything other than my job—in fact, in many ways it made my job easier.
Enjoy The Ripples
Writing out all these tips has made me incredibly uncomfortable. I’m much more at home sharing what I’ve done wrong over the years, versus what I’ve done right. But every now and then it is good to look back, if only to remind myself that it is okay to celebrate my own wins as much as I enjoy celebrating the wins of others. I may, at times, feel like the things I have done were drops in a bucket—I was just treating others the way I want to be treated, but even a drop in a bucket has the potential to produce ripples that impact more lives than one and that can make all the difference.
If nothing else, those ripples might just help you make a few friends along the way.
To-do lists can be so cute when they are young. When they look at you with those big shiny eyes, begging for your attention, you can’t help taking them home. As you stroke its fur and listen to it emit those adorable sleepy sounds of contentment, you can’t help think of all the wonderful things the two of you will accomplish together.
If you aren’t sure of your to-do list’s ideal weight, ask a trusted friend, but chances are you have been feeding it far more than is healthy. Start by cutting back on the filler treats that might make you temporarily feel good, but in truth don’t provide any nutritional value, like agreeing to judge a hot dog eating competition at the local state fair when you also have three missed deadlines already and no experience in the world of professional competitive eating.
Expect whining from your to-do list, especially in the beginning as it is used to getting its way, but remember its reign over your house is over. Spray bitter apple on things that shouldn’t be chewed. Invest in a fence or limit its range to only certain rooms. Purchase a timer or create a schedule. However you set your boundaries, make sure they work for you because once set, you’ll need to remain firm and let what doesn’t make the list go. As long as you don’t mind the language, I recommend reading 
“If you lost all your skin …, would you die?”
