Author: Allie P.

What is bad news today might just be the best news tomorrow

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

When my husband I decided to purchase our house, our lives were quite different from what they are today. I was only starting out in my career, he hadn’t yet caught the entrepreneurial bug and our only child was of the furry four-footed variety. At the time we enjoyed movies played at wall shaking volumes, hosting get togethers, playing pool, and brewing our own beer. Ah, the good old days…

Cover
Cover (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

All we wanted was a house located half way between our places of employment with grass for the dog to run on, an open floor plan for entertaining, and a large square room in which we could optimize our surround sound. I preferred an established neighborhood setting as that is what I had grown up in, but something built within the last fifty years. My husband had a few other items on checklist, but nothing uncommon. Our wish list for our first place wasn’t too demanding. Or so we thought.

After touring dozens of homes, I was thrilled when we found a place that met all of my criteria. I wanted to make the offer on the spot. Sure, there were a few things that I would like to alter, but overall it was a great space. Only it wasn’t a great space for both of us. My husband preferred the house next door.

I was shocked. In my opinion, we would need to gut the entire second story in order to make that space work. Why go through the trouble, when my pick had better bones? His answer? He couldn’t stand the kitchen. Okay he had a point. The kitchen in my pick was pretty awkward, but slap on a new counter-top, re-finish a few cabinets, and presto! Problem solved! Oh the simplicity of living with a dual income and no kids.

I might have eventually worn him down, made him compromise his wish list, but then we learned that there was another offer on the table. We decided not to enter into a bidding war on a property that wasn’t perfect for us both. We didn’t want to be forced to pay more when one of us would be reminded that they settled each time they looked out of the window. We chose to walk away from both properties. It was our choice, but I was thoroughly disappointed and more than a little frustrated.

Several tours later, we found another property that met much of our criteria to the delight of our Realtor. The kitchen was still less than ideal, there was no clear home theater room, and the location was skewed in the hubby’s favor. We might have been exhausted from endless shopping, but decided we could make it work. At least for a few years.

Missing out on the first house was the best bad news I’ve ever gotten.

The house we chose sits surrounded by some of the best neighbors a person could wish for. Some have sons and daughters similar to my children in age and temperament.  I get to sit back as the pack runs between yards. I know that as long as I keep a watchful eye out for their offspring, my neighbors will return the favor. Others have teenagers eager to earn babysitting or yard keeping dollars. We gleefully contribute to their causes. I am, after all, a supporter of tomorrow’s entrepreneur, especially when their efforts give me more free time.

Thinking of where I am now versus where I thought I should be, I am reminded of lyrics by the Rolling Stones:

You can’t always get what you want

But if you try sometime you find

You get what you need

I was saddened when we were forced to walk away from that first house. I thought I was going to have settle for a paltry runner-up. I worried the loss would leave me unsatisfied for years to come, yearning for the one that got away. Only now, watching my children play and seeing the joy on their faces, can I look back and see that what I interpreted as bad luck at the time, was actually completely its opposite. We might not have gotten what we originally wanted, but we made the best of what came our way afterwards. As a result, we found what we truly needed.

 

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Care to solve a puzzle?

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

On the very last day of our recent beach trip, a large thunderstorm forced us back into the house several hours earlier than we would have liked. The rental unit was equipped with enough bedrooms to accommodate everyone at night provided everyone doubled up in a room, but during the day it was a wee bit cramped, especially with four small children on the loose. We had to find something to do, and find it fast.

Luckily my mom and sister remembered the puzzle we had packed away for just this sort of emergency. It was brand new, and we quickly dumped all of the pieces on the table surface, eager to get started. The cover was then propped up where it could be seen by all.

English: Puzzle Svenska: Pussel
English: Puzzle Svenska: Pussel (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When we solve puzzles, my family tends to focus on the edges first as they are the easiest pieces to identify and match up. Once the framework has been completed, we begin tackling the interior. We each focused on a section of the puzzle. If you realized that a piece you were staring at for the last several minutes belonged in the other corner, you gave it to the person who was working on that section so that they could fit it in to its appropriate spot. None of us had every worked on this particular puzzle before, but we were focused, determined, and it was finished within the span of Disney’s Little Mermaid.

Goals are a lot like puzzles. Each goal is comprised of several smaller tasks which, if identified properly, link together until the larger goal is achieved. Prior to this trip, my most recent goal was drafting a novel. When I began writing it, I started by defining the characters and the outline. This became my puzzle framework, but also helped me to envision the puzzle’s cover image. Only then did I start filling in the individual scenes, supporting each chapter. Eventually writing got a lot easier. There weren’t that many pieces left on the table to sort through.

When you first pour the pieces of a puzzle out on the table, they seem overwhelming whether there are 1500 pieces on only 300. Once they are out of the box, you have a decision to make. You can either sweep the pile back into the box where they will sit and wait for another rainy day, or you can pick up a single piece and look for its mate. If you are lucky, friends and family might see you working hard and will pitch in. But even if they don’t, know that the puzzle isn’t going to solve itself. The choice is yours.

 

 

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Ignorance may be bliss, but experience maintains paradise

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it
The crystal water beaches that give the area i...
The crystal water beaches that give the area its name. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My eldest son will join the school aged set in only a couple of weeks and we decided to celebrate this milestone by taking a trip to the beach along with my niece and nephews. It was the first time half of our group had ever seen the ocean.

While our rental has an ocean view, it was not beach front. Even though we had reached our destination, we still had to make our way over the dunes by way of steep wooden stairs. The kids, long since driven crazy by the car trip made their way eagerly over the hill. At the top they paused faced with the expanse of water before barreling down to the water’s edge.

They stood there, not sure what to do, until they saw my son, the experienced leader of the pack, boldly run into the surf. Everyone immediately followed his example. The next several minutes were spent either braving the ocean waves or hoping that a small child didn’t drown on your watch.

Oh to be a child once again and experience the pure joy of a sparsely populated beach and a limitless sea.

The adults watched them play without a care while we worried about things such as sunscreen, proper flotation devices, and whether or not we had packed enough sand toys. Dolphins were spotted swimming fifty feet away. My son thought this was the most wonderful thing ever. I however was busy verifying that the fin we spotted did not, in fact, belong to a shark.

I sometimes wish that I was able to let go and enjoy the moment; to forget about the consequences of my actions. But while I can have fun, when my kids are involved, I have to be responsible too. It’s one of those fine print details you agree to when deciding to be a parent. Nothing spoils a milestone moment such as your first experience at the beach like second degree sunburn, especially if that burn could have been prevented.

I am happy to report that I have finished the re-write of my second novel. While at times my motivation was tested, I had a great time writing it. I knew how it was going to end from the day I completed my outline, but it took a few twists and turns along the way. Characters who were supposed to be minor took a larger role. Whole scenes materialized out of nothing. But as much as I would like to frolic in the sea of my imagination, I recognize that I need third parties to help ensure I don’t get burnt when I attempt to get this story published.

Based on the typos and plot holes my brave early readers have already identified, my story wasn’t nearly as polished as I thought it was. But it is going to be a better story, and one I will be even more proud to share in the long run thanks to their knowing assistance.

 

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Sometimes the ends don’t justify the means

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it

The US patent and trademark office announced last Wednesday that it was cancelling the Washington Redskins Football team’s protection, but this decision doesn’t only concern the National Football League. Let me be perfectly clear – I recognize that their team name contains an ugly slur. I am in no way supporting the team’s decision to continue using it. I would not use the term to discuss anything other than the football team, but that is my choice. I can also choose not to buy tickets, merchandise, etc from people who say, do, or otherwise represent things I disagree with. There is a particular fast food restaurant chain I have not visited in twenty-six years for this reason.

Evelyn Beatrice Hall wrote the line, I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it as a way of summarizing Voltaire’s beliefs on free speech.

The team has a right to call themselves what ever they want, use whatever logo they want. They are the ones expected to live or die by the consequences of that decision. Locals or visitors do not have to fill in the seats, just because there is a stadium. Networks would have just as much right to elect not to continue television contracts, or accept ad dollars.

As a patent holder as well as a copyright holder, I have always looked towards the US patent and trademark office as the agency that will protect my intellectual property from piracy. The public manner in which this announcement was made sends a message. Even though it was once protected, anyone will now be able to use the team’s logo in any manner of which they deem fit. Someone not affiliated with the organization could run a campaign and the team would no longer have a legal defense. It’s not piracy, it’s privateering.

While I appreciate the end result they are trying to achieve, I question the means. Their decision sets a very troubling precedent. In 2011, a new edition of Huckleberry Finn was released in which a certain other racial slur was edited out as if it had never been written. What if they hadn’t? What if the copyright was dropped altogether? Would there now be a flood of knock offs diluting the story to the point no one knew for sure whether or not they had Mark Twain’s original? Or would the story be pulled off the shelves altogether in the face of loss of profit for the publisher? In today’s world of e-books and other media you don’t need a fire to burn a book, just a few key strokes.

The recent commercials and satirical spotlights, attempting to change company’s position through a combination of education and shame, are by far a much more palatable means to the same end. I was lucky enough to attend a lunch with the Mayor of my hometown. We were free to ask whatever question we wanted. One of the first questions one of the other guests act was what was the city going to do to stop the late night comedians skewing of decisions the voters had made. I know then for a fact that satire and increased educational outreach have an impact. Those are the efforts we should be supporting. Not this tactic.

I enjoy writing on topics such as leadership and entrepreneurship. To be successful at either a person must be willing to take risks, roll up their sleeves, and do what has to be done to get their message out. I could easily play it safe. I could keep my opinion on this matter to myself and continue to write happy motivational pieces. I could keep my head down and tell myself there is nothing to be concerned about here. I like to think I am a good person. My work is more at risk by touching on this topic than from not, but bad things happen when good people say nothing.

The consequences of misplaced anger

by Allie P., posted in Life as I know it
escaping of the sunset....
escaping of the sunset…. (Photo credit: bernat…)

We were released early from work on the Friday before Memorial Day and I peeled out of the lot looking forward to treating myself with a little summer wardrobe shopping before I had to pick up the boys from day care. I snickered thinking of my husband still stuck at his office, toiling away, while I got to indulge in free time. I wanted to call him and say ‘nana nana boo boo’. At a particularly long light, I glanced around for my phone, only to realize it wasn’t in my purse. It wasn’t on the car seat. It wasn’t wedged between the seats.

I must have left it at the office, and leaving it there over a long weekend was not a comfortable option. By the time I returned, nearly a quarter of my free time was gone. I rummaged through my desk draws and moved piles of papers around. No luck. I called my cell phone from my office phone. Silence.

The Tunnel
The Tunnel (Photo credit: Pedro Vezini)

I started to panic. If it wasn’t in my office, could I have left it at the restaurant where I had gone for lunch that day? I hadn’t much cared about my cell phone before back when I had a dumb phone, it was just a tool, but now my smart phone was filled with photos and videos of my boys. I was rapidly turning into Smeagol bemoaning the loss of  his precious.

I high-tailed it over to the restaurant. The lunch staff was long gone and there was nothing resembling my phone in the lost and found drawer. My free time was now half over. I returned to my office a second time to retrace all of my steps between lunch and that afternoon.

No nook or cranny was left unchecked. Still nothing. I called my husband. He had taken me to lunch that day. Did I leave the phone in his car? No.

At this point I had run out of time. Forget about the summer clothes, it was time to pick up the boys. I wished I had never contemplated gloating about getting to leave early. Karma. She isn’t the kind you want to mess with.

Quasi-resigned to filing insurance claims etc, I tried to calm down while I drove home. I then remembered the concerns about lack of privacy surrounding my brand of phone’s automatic communication with GPS . The boys were barely released from their car seats before I was logged into the phone’s website. Sure enough, there was an option to locate my phone. A few clicks later, Poof, there it was. A stationary dot on the map hovering over the restaurant.

In most cases I view Big Brother as the Orwellian villain, but in this case I have to admit he took care of Little Sis.

I called my husband and told him he had to go get it now. He told me he had a flat tire. I called the restaurant and told them they had my phone. They told me to call back later when the evening manager was there. I made it very clear that I would accept no excuses! I was less than my best. I didn’t care. I demanded action – now!

A short time, I saw the dot begin to move. Now I was really panicking. Someone was running away with my property. I thought to myself, I should never have told the restaurant he was coming. A few mouse clicks later I had sent the phone into full lock down mode. Now no one would be able to operate it but me. Cue manic laughter!

The house phone rang. It was my husband. He and the restaurant staff had located my phone. Apparently one of the lunch staff, recognizing its value, had hidden it away from the general lost and found to ensure that it was kept safely hidden from casual view until it was reclaimed. The staff had remained courteous and helpful with my husband even after hearing the sharper side of my tongue.

I was solely responsible for blowing my opportunity for “me time”. However I had redirected my anger and frustration with myself at everyone else. Even though the phone’s loss was not their problem, they had responded as I should have from the start, with professionalism and courtesy.

''You will not be punished for your anger, you...
(Photo credit: QuotesEverlasting)

At least that is how they presented themselves on the surface. Who know what kind of service I might receive on my next visit? Or worse, what kind of additives will be in my food? I may never get to fully enjoy a meal there again, at least not for the next several weeks. I’d be constantly worried that they will somehow remember me as the irrational woman who deserves less than their best.

It never had to be this way. If I had better controlled my anger from the start, returning their professionalism with calm, I might now be able to order some tasty food with confidence without the side of guilt and shame.

I’ll have to tip them more the next time I go there. On second thought perhaps I should tip them first before I eat…, just in case…