Are you a supporter or do you truly believe?

When I was in high school I played basketball in a church league. I have to qualify my league of play because I am not exactly what anyone would describe as being tall. My high school’s coaches would have laughed me off the court had I shown up for try outs. My team was made up of several other like-minded individuals. We were there out of friendship rather than talent.

In other words, we were awful. I fouled out many of those games because I had a better chance of preventing the other team from scoring than actually making a shot myself.

We were so bad that the opposing team’s fans cheered for us when we managed to score a basket.

You might think that other teams would have been made up with the same caliber of misfit and be equally terrible, but you’d be wrong. Our opponents were also affiliated with religious organizations, but were religious high schools. They had access to the cream of the crop rather than just making do with random volunteers. My poor coaches didn’t stand a chance.

Washington Generals, I feel your pain. We went into each game knowing that we were going to lose, but determined to have a good time anyway. We would call out words of encouragement to each other from the bench. Good Hustle! Nice pass! But it was never enough.

Then one season some new recruits joined our little team. These girls had game. We started lose only by single digits. Then only by two points. Suddenly we were ending games in the W column. It was like every single feel good sports movie you’ve ever seen, only it was my reality.  The opposing team’s parents stopped cheering for us when we made our shots. We were a real threat. Our coach no longer allowed us goof off during practice. She tasked us with working harder we accepted. We began to believe we had a chance.

We finished my last season second in the league.

When I first published An Uncertain Faith, I heard a lot of people say, great job. I wish I could do something like that. I sold early copies to friends and acquaintances willing to support me in my dream. Then months after it was published one of my friends told me, “I read your book, and it was good. I mean, I would have liked it even if you weren’t the author.” She supported me, but her surprise, while extremely complimentary, proved she hadn’t been a true believer up until that point.

Co-workers began to ask me how far along I was with book project two. I gave status reports such as when I hit the 50% and 75% mark on my first draft. I started telling them how I was doing with the blog and what I was learning along the way. I can tell you the exact moment when many of my closest friends, family, and co-workers stopped merely supporting me and started to actually believe in me. I saw the change in their face and in the tone of their voice when they asked their questions.

Their tone became sharper, harder, but not in bad way. Just like my old basketball coach, they were more serious in their interest. I returned the tone in kind. I wasn’t talking about a hobby. I was telling them about my business. I was working hard and it was showing.

I am now only a month away from finishing up the initial first draft of my second novel. I am no longer only shouting words of encouragement at myself from the bench. Cheering my efforts, but not visualizing the win. I believe in myself. I believe that I have the determination to accomplish my goal.

 

Believe in yourself, push your limits, experie...
Believe in yourself, push your limits, experience life, conquer your goals, and be happy. (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

 

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Staying positive is tough, but I’ve always liked a challenge

English: Think positive
English: Think positive (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My husband and I visited several parts of Australia for our honeymoon. While there we were entertained to learn that there was an entire news program dedicated to Happy News. The other programs were following the pattern of increasing the scare factor in order to generate ratings, but this program had decided that they were going to focus on the inspirational and feel good pieces.

Watching the program was like eating a scoop of sorbet after a meal, a delicious palette cleanser. I wish I could say we watched more of it so that they might have gained a few ratings, but we were on vacation and I didn’t want to stay in front of a television all day. I do hope the program stayed true to its principles and is still on the air.

Several years ago, I watched Michael Moore’s film, Bowling for Columbine which takes a look at school shooting and explores the factors that may or may not have allowed that terrible event to occur. Whether or not you agree with his politics, he does bring up an interesting comparison between the nightly news in the US and the nightly news in Canada. In his film, the US program made much higher use of flashy graphics and scary headlines, or endangering a reporter without need, as means of compelling a viewer to tune in than its Canadian counterpart.

Breaking News
Breaking News (Photo credit: morner)

When I decided to venture into the world of blogging, I did so with trepidation. I had read the comments section on sites like Yahoo and You Tube. People can be so cruel, especially when they don’t have to use their real name. I truly wish I could say that I was still shocked by what people are willing to put in writing.

I’ve attended leadership and management classes as well as read several books on the subject. Time and time again, I have been told about the importance of addressing negative behavior immediately before it has a chance to fester within the team. Because unchecked, that’s exactly what it will do. The casual cruel comment tends to make a person defensive, tempting them to lash out in retaliation or worse, against an innocent bystander.

As leaders, we have to confront these issues head on. Nip it in the bud. We cannot afford to be afraid of confrontation. Courage, professionalism, and respectability can be equally contagious.

It takes one positive thought to change your l...
It takes one positive thought to change your life, just one positive thought. So why spend your time thinking negatively? (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

When I began blogging, I decided early on that I wanted to maintain a professional and mostly positive tone.  The best way to inspire others is to lead by example. I found a free site called social-searcher.com which analyzes everything I post on my blog, on Twitter, or Facebook and assigns it into a category such as positive, negative, or neutral.

Occasionally I get a red square next to one of my posts. I do enjoy satire and dry humor. My attempts to be funny typically get flagged as negative, but overall I am proud to say that I have been in the green more often than not.

 

 

 

I encourage you to check out your own stats some time using this tool, then click on the analytics tab. Next ask yourself are you happy with your results?

 

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The promises we make to ourselves are often the hardest to keep

Easter Eggs
Easter Eggs (Photo credit: .imelda)

We celebrated Easter over the weekend. My older sister came to visit with her family and we all celebrated with good food, conversation, and bags and bags of candy. I will be honest with you, I wanted to give myself a vacation from writing. What is the good of setting your own schedule if you don’t get to take some time off now and then. I rationalized that I could take a holiday off and no one would notice.

I announced this to my husband. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I felt my skin begin to crawl. I’ve been writing about execution, accountability, and leadership and here I was talking about shirking from my responsibilities just because it wasn’t convenient. I felt dirty. But the words were out there, all my husband would have to do is say something like “sounds good,” or “you’ve been working hard, a break would do you good,” and the conversation would be over.

He didn’t say either. Instead he just looked at me with a frown and said “you have to. It doesn’t have to be long, but you have to.” He kept me from making one of the worst mistakes – assuming that everyone’s lives were just like my own.

I follow several other blogs. After reading a series of good news stories on one of them, I reached out to the blog’s author. I wanted to know how she had been fortunate enough to find her publisher. She nicely wrote me back that her publisher found her after coming across her blog. Now she has a deal on a trilogy. What if the agent, publisher, bulk book buyer, kindred spirit looking for inspiration, or media mogul of my dreams was surfing the internet and found someone else all because I just didn’t feel like writing today.

English: A milk chocolate Easter Bunny.
English: A milk chocolate Easter Bunny. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Sure I might not know that I had missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime, but it still wouldn’t change the fact that I missed the opportunity to be noticed. And for what? Sixty to ninety minutes and a chocolate bunny?

I’ve read that it is a good idea to detail your posting schedule is on your ABOUT page. I’ve not embraced this idea to date because once you put something in writing, you’ve made a commitment. I don’t like to make promises I can’t keep. But perhaps it is time to do just that.

Over the last six months, I’ve kept promises made to myself. I’ve written on my writing days and spent time with my family on my off days, but perhaps it is now time to make promises to you the reader. Isn’t keeping the promises we rather avoid a major part of Easter?

If you are visiting my blog for the first time, Welcome. I blog mostly about parenthood, entrepreneurship, my inspiration, and writing, and I blog Mondays and Thursdays.

 

Writing
Writing (Photo credit: jjpacres)
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Caution – Don’t feed the bears or the doubters!

English: Do not feed the bears An unusual warn...
English: Do not feed the bears An unusual warning for Southern Scotland. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A woman I had worked with for more than ten years recently left my company after being offered a position with a great deal more responsibility and fancy new title. She was excited to advance her career but was incredibly nervous. The company she was going to had picked her for the position after only a few brief meetings and some words on her resume. What would happen if she got there and they all found out that she was not able to do the job as advertised?

The days from the time she turned in her notice and her last day passed quickly. Those of us who she was leaving behind had to be trained on her tasks so that at a minimum we could cover the work until a longer term replacement could be found. She grew even more apprehensive. We were planning for life without her. If she failed now, she couldn’t count on a spot remaining open for her.

I was working remotely on her last day and so was not able to send her off in person. I wouldn’t have even gotten my initial interview with the company had she not been the one to pass my resume along to the hiring manager so a brief note along the lines of “and thank you for all the fish” didn’t seem adequate. (Yes that is a reference to the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy).

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy cover art
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy cover art (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

While looking for inspiration I came across a quote by Marianne Williamson:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

While this quote might have been originally directed at women, it is an observation that should not be considered to be gender specific.

I have come across of number of blogs and listened to presentations in which the author or presenter felt compelled to describe, in length, all the reasons they shouldn’t be considered anyone’s role model.  I have to wonder why they are so afraid that another person might try to emulate them? They have families, friends, or colleagues who care for them and are at least moderately successful in their profession. They wouldn’t have an audience if others didn’t find that they had at least something worthwhile to say. Why shouldn’t someone look to them as a possible mentor?

I know from personal experience that hiring new staff is no easy task. The last thing anyone wants is to have to start the process over due to a poor hire. My former colleague would never have been offered the position if the company hiring her didn’t believe that she was capable of doing the work. To be successful in her new position she was going to have to silence her doubts and embrace the unknown.

In earlier posts, I wrote about how grateful I am that I have a strong support network. However as much as they have helped me, ultimately they have their own goals and pet projects. The person who is chiefly responsible for ensuring my success is me.  It is healthy to possess a moderate ego. If I don’t believe in myself, why should anyone else?

Let the bears of the market find easier meat elsewhere. I am feeling bullish.

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Spring is arriving and for every thing there is a season

Just like the seasons, people have the ability...
Just like the seasons, people have the ability to change (Photo credit: symphony of love)

Earlier this week I was invited to participate in one of my area’s working mom’s luncheons coordinated through the city’s Chamber of Commerce. I love these functions because everyone there is not only trying to expand their network for business purposes, but are genuinely interested in swapping tips for how best to achieve work life balance.

After a bit of pure socialization the more formal portion of the program began and the guest speaker took the stage. She was cheerful and energetic during her introduction and I was eager to hear what secrets this person who so obviously had her life together was going to share with the group.

Then she started telling us her life story, and the smile slipped. I realized very quickly how very wrong I had been to judge her particular book from its cover. She talked about dealing with the death of a parent in her early teens, and how she struggled to put herself through college and achieve her dream job. Just as you thought she was going to wrap up her presentation with the old “and they all lived happily ever after,” she told us about her experience with every parent’s worst nightmare, the loss of a child.

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. I felt my eyes tear up as she went on to talk about how she was only able to get out of bed due to her eldest child and the guilt she felt in having another baby later. Amazingly, somehow she had been able to maintain the ability to feel gratitude even after her ordeal; gratitude for her family, her friends, and her extended support network. She told us about how while her family would never be whole,  they were made stronger.

She tasked us all to discuss the challenges we individually had faced and how we had been able to grow as a result. In full disclosure, no one at my table felt we could top that speech. Her experience had been too raw, too real, for us to process over the next thirty minutes and a cupcake. We instead choose to tackle safer topics such as the ideal age difference in siblings and the headaches resulting from our local kindergarten enrollment process.

Tasmanian Devil in defensive stance, at Tasman...
Tasmanian Devil in defensive stance, at Tasmanian Devil Conservation Park, Tasman Peninsula. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I went home that night and my toddler’s terrible twos were in full force. Imagine a Tasmanian Devil hopped up on speed, chased with a pack of Red Bull. You might then have some idea of his disposition. He was having one of those days. His brother wasn’t exactly helping the situation by demanding my attention each and every time I attempted to sit down and decompress. But as much as I might have been tempted at that moment to sell them to the circus, at least both of my boys were home and healthy.

Obviously dealing with the challenges of living with the pre-school set can in no way compare with the challenges of living without them. As I checked on my boys sleeping peacefully in their beds later that evening, I was reminded of how lucky I have been to have my own family and support network.

Usually I would end my post with some related reading, but as I did not participate in the group assignment when instructed, I would like to take this time to complete my homework. In addition to the gratitude I feel towards the support my family and friends have given me, I would also like to express my thanks to a few of my fellow author/bloggers celebrating their own big news this month for unknowingly inspiring, motivating, and/or helping to guide me through the publishing process.

Listed in no particular order –

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